Blind to love

struggles are real

A couple hours later Teresa has got me to calm down and while she stands at my door she thinks I'm asleep, I know they don't want to leave me alone, I can hear them talk about me worried about what I could of done if they haven't come, with my eyes close I listen to there conversation about staying for a few days, wondering if they should get me to talk to someone but I cant, they wouldn't understand... As my Paul being pulled too I hear a Terese on the phone

"Jacob this isn't good, she had pills on her table sitting in front of her I'm worried, please I'm begging you to come back and talk to her" hearing Terese voices begging to her son I cant help but let my tears flow thinking about how worried they both got, I wouldn't of taken the pill would i. I'm still being haunted by the memories, that I have off kai, I been trying to pick myself up piece by piece but the memories are replaying in my head off all the whats ifs. I'm struggling as every time I think of the good memories of kai, the bad one always seem to appear especially the night he was killed, I couldn't unseen everything. 

 Waking up two days later I didn't think I would of slept that long but opening my eyes I have seen Jacob on the floor of my bedroom sleeping peacefully, his parents didn't need to worry him about everything, I managed to cry myself to asleep after hearing teresa on the phone holding my engagement ring closely to my heart. Moving my legs I accidentally wake Jacob up, his eyes shut open looking me over and looking at my hands, shaking his head before taking a seat next to me, looking in his eyes I can see hurt and sadness in his eyes, he holds himself responsible for what happened but he doesn't have too, I know I should of asked for help but I couldn't I thought I could do this alone, guess I was wrong as I look down at my hands that now how bandages wrapped around them. 

"I told you Callie you can call me, don't be afraid to ask for help please" I hear Jacob begging as he looks at me before digging in his bag for something, I know he asked me to ring him anytime but I didn't think I could, I didn't want to be a burden to him and his life. As Jacob pulls a letter out his bag I spot the handwriting straight away as kai, knowing I have a confused look on my face, I look I'm between the letter and Jacob wanting to know how he's got a letter from him. 

"kai told me to hold onto this incase of an emergency, he knew you would struggle. Once you read this I'll be downstairs ready to listen when you are, we are here to help" nodding to my head holding kai letter in my hands I don't know what to do with it, I have watched Jacob up and leave, leaving me alone with the letter. Looking at his handwriting brings back memories, he never did have good handwriting. Opening the letter I'm not sure I can do this, he meant so much to me...

To my princess 

I thought we be together forever growing old together and living in a little house near a ocean but I guess god had other plans if your reading this, I know I'm sorry. I told Jacob to hold onto this letter incase you ever needed it, this letter is for when your struggling or in a dark place. You are a whole lot of special and don't forget that, the place where you at right now doesn't define you and don't let it, break free. I know my death would of hurt you and if your ever struggling to copy with anything please I'm begging you to ask for help, I might of gone but I never want to see you taken your own life, ill see you on the other side when your grey and old, I know you will still be attractive to me, I care about you and I want you to succeed in life, grab it by the horns and rock the life out of it, if not for me but for you, theres darkness everywhere but look for the light like I seen the light in you. You have got this I believe in you and so does everyone who loves you, I hope we see each other again when the times ready and if you're ever in a dark place read this letter again knowing I believe in you. You got this princess. I'm watching on cheering the loudest for you from heaven. I love you and if you ever miss me as much as I miss you, remember I'm still apart of you. live love and laugh baby. I love you 

from your prince. 

Matt pov

Walking though the reception I smile at Ellie while she's on the phone, I have asked her to take less jobs this week as I cant seem to get a hold of Callie, she hasn't turned up to work all week and when I went to her place I got no answer, all the lights was off. I never get worried till today when Ellie was talking to Jacob on the phone, when Ellie asked if I have spoken to or seen Callie this week I shake my head stepping closer to the desk wanting to know if anything happened, I though she must of gone out of town with her apartment looking quiet, no one seen her walk in or out the apartment within that week. When Ellie hangs the phone up I look at her wanting more information of why he called, I know its not for a conversation as I don't think those two have met well I don't think they have

"Jacob couldn't get a hold of Callie and wanted to know if we seen her, his parents are on the way anyway he said" nodding my head I walk back in the garage wondering whats happening, I know sometime people that suffer a tragic accident have some form of PTSD however I haven't seen any signs of it in Callie, I know I'm not a doctor so I wouldn't know but I thought Callie was fine. Trying not to think about everything I decide to message Callie hoping she well before getting back to work, ill try reaching her in a couple of days knowing she has Jacob parents with her, I hope she is doing ok though.