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It wasn't meant to be like this. She wasn't supposed to follow him down a familiar path, promising her at the beginning that every day would be a new adventure. It wasn't supposed to end this way, with her dead at his hand, her blood still under his fingernails, the taste of it still on his tongue.
Kol Mikaelson had been down this road before and he had promised himself that he would never let it happen again, promised himself that he wouldn't let himself lose control around Y/N.
And then he had been asleep for five years. And then she had been there when he woke up. And then he was nothing more than an animal, hungry for his prey. And she was there.
She was always there. Because she loved him and promised never to leave him.
He had always loved that about her, her devotion to him. But it was what had got her killed in the end, and it was all his fault. His fault for being the monster that she had told him he was not.
Y/N was dead and it was his fault.
It had happened before with other girls, but he had never really loved them like he loved Y/N. Of course, he had been sad when they died but he'd gotten over it. He was pretty sure there would be no getting over Y/N.
Kol couldn't shower enough times. He needed to get her off him, needed to let the blood flow down the drain, needed to scrub away any part of his act before he dealt with her body.
He had taken her home, laying her out on the bed. He had washed her neck, tried to make her look like she was sleeping. With her eyes shut and her hair falling around her face, she looked exactly like that. She looked beautiful, and the thought of kissing her awake had passed his mind.
It was something he would do if she was alive, earning a tired smile from her. But she wasn't alive, and if he kissed her, she wouldn't wake up.
She would never wake up again, and it was his fault.
It was a familiar road, but it had never ended with him murdering the love of his life before. It was a one-way street, and Kol couldn't find the exit, couldn't see the way out of the misery, of the pain that he was stuck in. It was like breaking down and waiting for someone to drive past, to ask him if he needed help, to pick him up.
But no-one was coming, and Kol Mikaelson was stuck on the side of that same road, destined to remain there for eternity.
And then something happened.
Then he heard her calling his name. He turned to where her body should have been laying, instead to find her sitting up. There was no wound on her neck, her shirt was clean. She was smiling at him like she always did when she woke up, a sparkle in her eyes.
"You're-"
She stood, placing a hand on his cheek and kissing his lips. Perfectly gentle, but yet so full of passion, so full of love, so full of something that he had missed in the five years he had been away from her, of something that he was sure he would never feel again.
"Alive. I know."
"How?"
"Freya."
He felt the tears begin to fall, felt hot saltwater run down his cheeks and rest on his lips. He felt her wipe them away, her skin on his a reminder that she was really there
"Y/N, I'm so sorry."
"It's okay, Kol. I forgive you. I love you."
"I love you too."
And when she kissed him again, he closed his eyes, savoring the moment, the fear at losing her reminding him that this was where he wanted to be for the rest of his immortal life.
When she parted from him, he opened his eyes and felt his heart sink as he looked back at her body. There she was, lying on the bed, the remains of bloodstains still on her skin, lips that would never smile again, that would never touch his again. However much Kol Mikaelson dreamt of her coming back to him, however much he saw her, spoke to her, imagined her still alive, she never would be.
Y/N Y/L/N was dead. There was no bringing her back, the act of necromancy always causing more harm than good. Kol Mikaelson just wanted the road, the same damn road, to end, to turn a corner into something better, into something that would never be possible.
Wiping away the tears, Kol walked over to the bed, taking Y/N's hand.
"I guess it's time, darling."
It was time to lay Y/N Y/L/N to rest.
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