Golden [h.s.]

68. masterpiece

🎵Love Like That — Snoh Aalegra

"Your phone is ringing," Harry calls out from outside the bathroom door.

After we both cried, Harry told me that I could take a shower in his suite, insisting that I'd feel better once I did. I agreed, wanting desperately to engulf my body underneath the water, wanting a reprieve from the conversation we just had.

I told him I'd leave as soon as I got out the shower. I wanted time to just breathe and be on my own for a while — this was the longest I've been in his presence, in such close proximity to him, and I know being around him for much longer will further threaten my sense of reason.

Besides, like I said — I needed time. It won't do me any good having him around me.

I do feel a bit better, though, especially after that cry and our talk. Things aren't okay, but...I'll be okay.

He said last night was the first he drank in three months. When I asked him about it, he said he didn't like who he was when he drank before. More notably, he said after his actions that night, he told himself he'd never let himself get that belligerent again.

He also said didn't like how arrogant he became and he realized it almost always fueled his issues with jealousy, more specifically, his issues with jealousy in our relationship. He also mentioned not letting his past take control over his present, and I knew that meant his own trust issues in his previous relationships.

I didn't know what to respond to that, so I had just nodded and went into the bathroom. Part of me was frustrated; I had told him those same words so many times when we were together, that I wasn't like the other women he dealt with in the past.

But, the other part of me was a bit grateful that he said and realized it himself. It's one thing having someone tell you about something that needs to be changed constantly, but it's a completely separate thing for you to take matters into your own hands and decide to change yourself. I was at least proud of him for that much.

At this point, my head was pounding like someone was hammering it in from inside my skull, and I needed that shower more than I thought. I had felt a sense of emptiness when he dropped his arms from around me, something that confused me even more than I already was.

I don't know what path Harry and I are on, a path back to one another or a path going our separate ways?

I don't know what the answer is, but what I do know, is that whatever the path is, my happiness is top priority. I refuse to settle for less, regardless of where I end up.

"It's Lydia," Harry adds, interrupting my thoughts. I can hear the faint buzz of my cellphone ringing through the door. Fuck.

I wrap my towel around me tight and open the bathroom door slightly, sticking just my hand out. I'm being careful not to let him see me in my towel like this, which seems silly after last night. I hear a small chuckle from Harry that makes me bite my lip to hide my own smile before he puts the phone gently in my hands. I guess he's feeling a bit better, too.

We both needed that cry, I think.

"You're welco—" I cut him off by shutting the door in his face so that I could quickly answer the phone.

"Hello?" I answer, leaning against the door.

"Ella! Are you alright? Brad said he texted you but you didn't reply, he wanted to see if you were okay. He told me you went home early because you weren't feeling well, are you okay?" Lydia fires at me quickly. Fuck, I forgot about Brad.