Chapter 39

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"Bro, she hasn't talked all day."

"I-I'm scared." He starts stuttering and I knew what comes next, crying.

"I-I don't wanna loose her." I can hear him sniffle and by the way he's talking, he's been crying.

I feel horrible. "But dude, she needs you."

Now I know who he's talking to, Jack.

I don't care about him.

I just continue walking into my room.

I get out of the clothes I was wearing and into sweats and a sweatshirt, and I get into bed.

I stay awake, looking at the ceiling and just list in my thoughts, before I fall asleep around 12am.

-

It's 3am, and I'm in tears crying.

I can't do this.

I just want to be gone.

Is it to much to want to be gone.

I look at my phone to see if I got any messages.

Brother Johnson: went to Jacks. love you see you later.

That was around midnight, which means I'm alone.

I take a shaky breath and shake my head.

I grab my laptop again, and go into the living room.

I take another shaky breath as more tears leave my eyes. I log in and go straight to the internet.

My shaking hands go to the key board and type "ways to commit suicide."

I scroll through until I find out that if you could hit your vain in your arm if you cut yourself, I could bleed to death.

I smile, knowing I could leave this hated world forever, and make my way up and into my bathroom.

I see my phone, and grab it and take it into the bathroom with me.

I get the razor blade, and slice it across my wrist a few times, until it struck my vain and set a pain throughout my whole body.

I text JJ.

Me: I love you. don't forget that.

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