Lost Heart

*4

Lukas POV

As I looked in the mirror, the dull reflection looked back at me. Days ago, I almost killed Aurora by choking her and almost threw her off the balcony. I hate to say it, but I wish I did throw her off that balcony.

It wouldn't get Bella back but it sure would get her out of my life. Right along with Angelo and Richard. I did apologized to Aurora and she took the apology.

Like a dumbass.

Because if I was in her shoes, I wouldn't even know how to even forgive someone for doing that. I'm fucked up with issues that only I can deal with.

I slowly put on my tie, feeling a presents behind me. I looked in the mirror to see Aurora watching me. I didn't feel like talking to her but she started smiling at me.

"Luka, Rita made breakfast for you. It's in your office." She came towards me, putting her hands on my forearms. She smiled, looking at my reflection in my mirror while I stop fixing my tie.

"I knew you didn't want to eat breakfast with the rest of the clan cause you're the Mafia Boss." She added, rubbing her hands on my arms to give me what I'm guessing was comfort.

What the hell did she know what I wanted? Just because I'm the mafia boss, doesn't mean I want to eat alone. Why is she doing this?

"Aurora, I appreciate the kind gesture but I like to eat with the clan. They're my family." I continue to fix my tie and I fixed it.

She frowned, "But babe, don't-"

"No." I cut her off, moving her arms away from me. I left out my bathroom, walking inside of my room and walking out of it. I didn't know why she's like this with me. Always wanted me to do separate things from the clan.

She thinks that we're going to have a family, she's wrong about that. I don't want any kids from her, let along I didn't even want to marry her. I was forced.

I walked downstairs, hearing muffle voices in the kitchen. I didn't smile but I could hear the clan talk amongst theirselves. I walked more closely to the door and heard Colin talking.

"Drinking takes his pain away. I wish he didn't drink like that but he should get some help. I know what it's like to have someone as a alcoholic in the family. My uncle was one." I heard Colin said and I instantly knew who they were talking about.

They were talking about me, it didn't hurt that they were but it did make me feel some type of way.

"I hope he's okay. Lukas been my best friend since we were like 5. I knew he was going through some things in his life, but this has got to top it off. Lukas was never the type to drink. But like you said, people drink their problems away." Archer spoke making me feel kinda...sad.

I knew I didn't get my emotions involve like I use to but he was right. I'm becoming something I'm not.

I'm becoming a monster.

"Babe, he was listening to Al Greene and drinking. In the black community that means he has a deeper story and he's far from not okay." Davina said, making me more sad  than I could imagine.

"Besides what do you guys even know about Al Greene?" She asked, causing me to chuckle but it was quiet.

My emotions were bouncing all over the place but when she asked that, it kinda tickled me.