Suddenly, we start again (Toruka Story english) 2.

Chapter 13

Despite the early autumn season, it was surprisingly mild that evening. Twilight covered everything in various shades of brown, turning the garden dark and ominous. Small shadows flitted back and forth between the bushes and loud laughter resounded over the gravel paths. Only at the illuminated corners of the house could everything still be seen clearly, where climbing roses clambered up into the air, their blossoms still showing their intense colors, and the heavy fragrance rose to Taka's nose.

He stood leaning against the wide railing of the sprawling terrace, at a hidden corner where the blooms had taken over and provided a small shelter. Resting his head on his folded arms and his gaze fixed on the distance, he tried to regain his composure. His heart was still beating wildly and the pressure on his lungs made it difficult for him to breathe. This experience, which gripped him like a massive adrenaline rush, was stronger than any excitement before a live performance, irritating all his nerves to the extreme and bringing the past years with the band so real to his senses that he thought he had just finished a concert. Tears of realization veiled the dark almond eyes, his admission of having lied to himself, of insisting so stubbornly and persistently on a cause that pushed all the past years into the background, hit him hard.

What had happened? What had caused him to be so careless to put aside this perfect life with his family, the band, at Toru's side? Like a document that was important but not always present. It was all a big mistake, a silly fantasy, a figment of his sick brain to build an ideal world around himself. He wanted children? How grotesque this wish now sounded in his ears. Everything he wanted was in his arms just a few minutes ago. Hot and heavy that he had trouble supporting the weight of the dazed groom. He could feel him, ... smell him, ... make him a promise. His skin still tingled, as it had after the countless times before their now, faded relationship.
A year had passed, yet it felt like it was yesterday. The strong arms that held him, the sleepy eyes that constantly assured him everything was right, the sensual mouth from which came that deep pleasant voice he loved so much. The calloused fingers that knew every corner of his body, tender and soft, but always offering a sure grip.

A whole year ... so much wasted time ....

He sniffled into his suit sleeve.Even if he left traces, he didn't care, didn't care at all. The main thing was that he could hide his tear-stained face until he could go back inside to face it all. Only for a short time ... a few minutes, but the longer he thought about pulling himself together and accepting everything, the more violently he was shaken by his sobs and his tears wet the expensive jacket.
Only a familiar voice pulled him out of his dilemma and he looked up.
"Hey Mori chan! What are you doing here? Toru was asking about you. Aren't you going to ..." Tomoya faltered when he got close enough to the singer and noticed his condition. "Oh, ... sorry, ... did I ... disturb you?"
"Umm, no ... no. I'd say you have saved me. You must give him a message, I ... I'm just driving home," Taka mumbled, hoping to get no objection, but a loud child's scream prompted the drummer to bend over the railing, startled, and look wide-eyed for the cause.
"I'm sorry Taka san. I have to look for Akitoy, he's out with the twins and I have no idea what they're up to. It certainly doesn't sound good..." He was already on the move, but turned around once more. "Are you okay? We'll talk later, ... don't drive, it's far ... and really late, yeah? Or just wait here, I'll be back ... promise, ... yeah?" Then he ran off, as if stung by a tarantula, calling his son's name over and over.

Takahiro heaved a heavy sigh. The simplest attempt to wriggle out of the awkward situation had failed miserably. Children came first, in every respect, that should be quite clear to him. And the latest state of circumstances had changed everything, just as he had wanted. Toru would become a father. A sweet, tiny baby was going to see the light in the world. Bringing new life to the married couple, making them grow, making them a small family in which Taka could only ever play a small part. But ... it was okay, his own dream that he had to realize first.