No Limits

Part 13

Chanyeol's POV

Sehun was alive.

Logically, he knew that Sehun was alive after talking to you but, it wasn't until he saw him with his own eyes that he actually believed it. The stoic expression, the slightly narrowed eyes, and the tall, lean frame... it was definitely his cousin.
When he heard Sehun speak, it was like music to his ears. He had never wanted to hear the younger man's voice more than he did at that moment. In fact, Chanyeol had told Sehun to shut up more times than he could count, but once he heard his voice again, he never wanted him to ever quit speaking.

However, the magical moment was ruined when Sehun had met his eyes. They were the eyes of a complete stranger. Sehun had looked Chanyeol over like he was just another person on the street, and Chanyeol felt like he had lost him all over again.

It was different from when he lost his brother. When Jiho was gone, he was gone. He could properly mourn and grieve for his brother, and he was eventually able to accept his death. With Sehun, he was able to mourn and grieve the loss, but he wasn't able to move on. There was no possible way he could continue on, knowing his cousin was alive and well somewhere out there in the world without a hint of knowing who he was.

To hear Sehun confirm it all when he asked him if they were close was what broke Chanyeol, and he wasn't afraid to admit it. Nor was he afraid to drop down to his knees and share his pain with the world because it was too much for him to bear silently.

Although, another thought struck him as he silently sat in the back of the SUV during the ride home. How could he expect Sehun to remember who he was when he couldn't even remember it himself? He was just as much of a stranger as Sehun was at this point. He could barely remember who he was before he lost Sehun. Now, he was just an asshole with a bad attitude who used his friends like they were nothing to him.

He treated his best friend horribly and disrespected the shit out of his leader. Junmyeon had been there for him when he lost Jiho. He was one of his rocks during that time, and this time around, Chanyeol had thrown nasty comment after nasty comment without caring how it'd affect him. Actually, he wanted Junmyeon to feel the pain he felt. He wanted all of them to, and it disgusted him now.

It wasn't going to sit right with him until he fixed all of the relationships he ruined. Then, he could move on from this chapter of his life... and there was nothing he wanted more.

The bump of the gravel drive to their home broke him out of his thoughts, and Chanyeol knew it was now or never. He wanted to make things right before they ended the Baem because after wasn't an option. After wasn't guaranteed. He wasn't going to live the rest of his life regretting his final words to anyone or leave them behind with unforgiving memories of himself.

The second Jongdae shuts off the vehicle, and everyone reaches to undo their seatbelts, Chanyeol speaks.

"Junmyeon... Can we talk?"

All movement in the SUV ceases, and he can see from his peripheral that you and Jongdae were staring at each other with wide eyes. However, Chanyeol's gaze remains fixed on the leader.

Junmyeon searches Chanyeol's face, undeniably trying to hide the pity and sadness he felt erupting onto his own, before nodding his head. You and Jongdae quickly take that as your cue to leave and hop out of the vehicle, leaving the pair there in silence.

Chanyeol didn't know how to begin the conversation or what his thoughts even were, and Junmyeon certainly wasn't going to be the first to speak. He had already tried to reach out to Chanyeol for months.