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CHAPTER 32✓ The Last Page

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Iniwan na naman ako ng mundo. Muli na namang ipinag kaila sa akin ang kasiyahang inaasam ko.

Maybe this is exactly what is destined for me. Whatever I do is really like this and can never be changed. Even though I myself wrote my own destiny, this is still the outcome. I just accept that in this world, I have no right to be happy. If I am happy it is only temporary. Even though I don't want to accept it, I will still try to think that somehow I experienced being happy. At least for a moment I experienced fun in this world. In this illusion and imagination world.

I just kept staring out the window of my room. Sojou also left here a long time ago. I have neglected myself. I hardly eat or bathe anymore. Always lacking in sleep, my heart breaks every time I remember the words he uttered when we last met. It hurts more to live than to die. I didn't even move the book and let it be just like that. I would rather die than leave this world when we have something that Sojou does not understand. I wiped away the tears that I did not realize was dripping. This is just the cycle of the past few days. Cry until I get tired and fall asleep. When I wakes up, I will cry again and ask myself what to do.

"Sojou...balik ka na..." Sa bawat pag mulat ng mata ko ay ito lagi ang aking binibigkas.

"Sana dalawin mo ako sa panaginip. Payakap." Hinawakan ko ang aking dibdib kung saan naroroon ang puso at mahina iyong hinampas-hampas.

"Sojou...uwi ka na,balik ka na sa akin..." Nanlalabo na ang aking mata dahil sa mga luhang nag mumula rito. Mas lalong tumindi ang pag kirot ng aking puso ng marinig kong bumukas ang pinto. Crunching hit my ears from behind, accelerating already the rampant into my heart. Tumindig ang aking mga balahibo ng maramdaman ko ang bisig sa aking likuran. Ang mahigpit na bisig kung saan ako nakukulong.

"S-sojou..."

"Shh, narito na ako dilag." Para akong binuhusan ng malamig na tubig ng marinig ko ang kanyang boses na matagal kong hindi narinig. Ang kanyang boses na musika sa aking tainga. Ang paraan kung paano niya ako tawagin at ang kanyang malamyos na tinig.

My man...

Dahan-dahan akong lumingon sa kanya at sumalubong kaagad sa akin ang malambot niyang labi na sinimulan niyang igalaw sa akin.  Excited, I followed his kiss and clasped my hand around his neck. Every movement of our lips met, is the gradual softening of my knee. Like me, he also seemed eager for the kiss we hadn't shared in a long time.

We stopped when we realized our position. I'm at his lap. I did not realize that this was our position. That kiss carried us and we were unaware of our position.

He pinned the hair blocking my face. He stared at it as if he memorizing the detail of this again.

"Picturesque." Sumilay ang ngiti sa kanyang labi at unti-unti na namang lumalapit ang kanyang mukha sa akin. Pero bago pa man muling magdikit ang aming mga labi, tumayo na ako at lumayo sa kanya.

I turned my back on him and faced the window. I could only swallow when I felt him hug me from behind.

"I miss you .." he proclaimed.

"W-what are you doing here?" I seriously asked. Tried to show him that I was not affected.

"I'll be back to you." I laughed. I laughed a little and then faced him then grinned.

"How do you say those things? And what do you think of me? a toy? A toy that 'when you're done disgusting you will leave? Then you will just come back when you think? Is that so? Do you think of me like that? Is this a game to you?"