❝𝙧𝙚𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙯𝙫𝙤𝙪𝙨 ❞

xxxv

2018. 05. 01.

"now look at that glow," jaemin draped his arm around renjun's frame and teasingly eyed him. "you look like you just got out of a toxic relationship," he cackled in attempt of joking.

which only earned a harsh nudge from renjun. maybe he glows, but he's not out of a relationship and it's totally not toxic. "i just tried a new skincare product," he reasoned.

"whatever helps you sleep at night."

truth is, renjun is getting better. he could now properly sleep at night, he doesn't need to wore himself out to stop himself from being sad. he's healing. alone.

he thought he couldn't do it. he thought it's impossible to not have mark by his side even though they made up. but actually, it helped him more.

he has all the time for himself. he started to grow up, to be independent. he started loving himself more so he could love mark better when they meet again.

it's been almost two months since the two decided to give each other the time and space they thought they never needed. mark was very busy with his promotion, and renjun with his practice.

do they miss each other? don't even start with it. they're dying to meet up at their rendezvous, share a white kiss, talk until dawn.

they miss each other. but now, they weren't begging for one's attention. they're not putting each other first anymore. they tried to understand that no matter how much they love each other, they can't be the top and only priority. they have dreams, they have something they badly want.

before the year ends, the company announced that the final line up for the new boy group they'll be debuting would be revealed. they still have months to prove themselves. everyone was working hard, including renjun. 

and it also includes sungchan who you could consider as renjun's lackey by now. "it stings," he whined as he showed the scratch on his elbow he got when he fell while dancing.

"what do you want me to do, giant baby? kiss the pain away?" renjun rolled his eyes at sungchan who is actually just a five year old kid trapped inside a six foot tall body. nonetheless, he still fished out a band aid from his bag and carefully patched up the younger's wound. "be careful next time," he reminded him without sparing a glance.

sungchan saluted and smiled widely, "sir, yes, sir!"

the two became closer– even closer than him and jeno ever was. maybe because sungchan never stopped breaking through his walls. he always reached out for him when renjun pushes everyone away. renjun grew tired of shooing the younger so he just welcomed him on his private life.

and unlike before that renjun feels conscious of sungchan, he doesn't limit himself anymore. he's no longer scared of what mark would think. there's no more mark would be mad, i shouldn't do this because mark is not that stupid anymore.

"he's your friend, i get that now. he's the one who's there when i'm not. you no longer have to push him away, renjun."

whenever sungchan asks him to go out or eat at a restaurant, renjun would happily entertain it. something he does with jeno and jaemin and all the other trainees but never with sungchan.

expecting someone to heal you is indeed dangerous. when that person is gone, you'd shatter into irreparable pieces. it's a good thing mark want him to self heal, to not relay to others. or else renjun wouldn't even want to imagine how fucked up he is now.

what helped him to get through all the heartaches was mark assuring him. they were in the middle of maturing and growing but mark never failed to remind him that he loves him and it'll never change. every morning, every night, mark would message him.

"i still love you. have a great day ahead and enjoy with your friends baby."

"we finished the radio broadcast. have you eaten? i'll go to sleep early, you too, okay? i still love you baby."

"danggg i caught a cold but i'll just get some rest and i'll be fine. stay healthy, baby. i still love you!"

renjun then knew. he's never gonna let anything take mark away from him. not again.

"should we go to mcdonalds?" jisung excitedly asked as their practice ended.

"i'm in!" the other trainees chorused.

sungchan who doesn't have any plans that day also nodded, "me too. you, hyung?" he asked renjun.

renjun wasn't able to hear him because he was focused on the message he just received. tears started swelling up on his eyes as he looked up at his friends. "i'll pass," he said before rushing outside.

he never ran that fast in his life. he was scared that the message he received is just a fragment of his imagination because he missed mark so much.

from: mark

baby, i did it. i became better for you now.
take your time on healing. i'll wait a lifetime for you.
i love you.

he didn't waste a second when he saw mark inside the room. he ran towards him and hooked his arms around the older's neck and pulled him down for a chaste kiss. he can feel mark's giggles against his lips and mark's hand gripping his waist possessively.

lips parting, their heavy breathes in between, renjun stared at the older with stars in his eyes.

they made it.

they didn't give up on one another.

"before, i saw that you were perfect, and i love you for that," he confessed and held mark's hand tightly.

mark smiled at him, "but now you learned that i'm not."

"then i saw that you really aren't perfect. and i love you even more," renjun mirrored his smiled before leaning for another peck on mark's lips.

"baby, why the fuck do you love me? i don't think i deserve this angel," mark caressed his cheeks and now started pampering renjun's face with butterfly kisses.

a soft giggle is all renjun could reply. he couldn't even measure how happy he is to be that close to mark again.

if your love is too perfect, then maybe it's not real. their love story would never be a fairytale. it didn't start from once upon a time. but they'll do whatever it takes to end it with a happily ever after.

or no– no happy endings. they'll do whatever it takes for their love not to end.

"don't wait a lifetime for me, mark. hold my hand and let's watch as lifetime pass by us."

㊙️

second semester just started and i alr feel like smashing my laptop so i dont have to attend online classes anymore