❝𝙧𝙚𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙯𝙫𝙤𝙪𝙨 ❞

xxx

comeback reference: empathy

2018. 02. 06.

"again?" mark sighed over his phone and slumped down the floor.

"i'm really sorry. sungchan was having a hard time with the choreography."

renjun bit on his nail as he watched sungchan practice their new dance. only the two were left at the room because sungchan personally asked him to teach him. he felt bad for mark but he also couldn't say no to the younger.

that name again. mark is sure he's hearing that name more than he should. "of course, it's sungchan again," he scoffed.

"tomorrow. i promise i'll go," renjun said with a pleading tone.

as if, mark thought. he stood up and decided to leave his shared room with renjun. "no need. we have a schedule tomorrow, remember? or maybe you don't. maybe you don't even bother yourself to look at my schedule anymore," he bitterly commented.

renjun couldn't say anything against it because mark was right. he didn't know. he wasn't able to check it anymore like before. "i'm sorry. i've been very busy lately–"

"you think i'm not? i am, renjun. but i make sure to make time for you. i make sure to message you everyday even though sometimes you'll just leave me on read. i constantly go to this room, stupidly waiting for you while you have cute little dates with that new trainee."

he just doesn't get it. how hard is it to meet mark just twice or once a week? mark is preparing for a full album comeback, he could barely fall asleep but whenever he has free time, he devotes it for renjun. because he doesn't want renjun to feel that he's not on his priority.

yet renjun is making him feel like he's least of his priorities.

renjun's heart felt heavy upon hearing mark's narrative. he will admit that he prioritized his potential debut this time. he focused on practicing. he focused on his dreams.

afraid that the argument would lead to another thing, renjun said, "i'll go there right now. wait for me, okay? i'm really sorry."

"forget it," mark hissed and ended the call.

"mark? hey, mark," renjun tried to chase after call even after hearing the beep sounds. "damn it!"

he almost threw his phone in frustration. his finger messily laced his hair with stress. why is nothing going on his way?

a train of curses trailed off his lips as he shut his eyes tightly. calm down, renjun. call him later. this will pass by, he induced himself.

he looked up when he felt sungchan's presence beside him. the taller was looking at him, lips parted in hesitation to ask what's happening.

renjun looked away and said, "go and practice."

"are you... are you crying?" sungchan finally asked and pointed the crystal beads involuntarily decorating renjun's cheeks.

wiping his cheeks, renjun then realized. he dragged the tears away using the back of his hands and shook his head, "it's nothing. come on. what part is hard for you?"

"do you want water? do you want to rest? i can take you to the infirmary if you're not feeling well," sungchan was lightly panicking because he doesn't know what to do or say.

"i said it's nothing, sungchan. let's get this over with," renjun's tone is now slightly hugged with annoyance.

when he walked to the center of the practice room, sungchan followed him. "it's not nothing if you're crying," he insisted.

"why don't you just shut up and practice? sungchan, i'm tired. so please, cooperate," tiresome was visible on renjun's face. it was as if life decided to shit on him that month and everything is weighing him down.

"i heard you said mark. is that... mark sunbae? what's wrong? did you two fought? was he being mean to you?"

for the short period that the two have been together, sungchan grew more fond of renjun. he's so feisty but just to the point that no one is able to talk shit about him. they're friends, for sungchan, they are. and seeing renjun crying is bothering him.

renjun fucked up again. how could he be so careless and mention mark's name? "it's a different one," he lied.

"what happened? why were you crying–"

"goddamn it, i said it's nothing!" renjun lost his temper and yelled at the younger. "don't you fucking get it?!" renjun voice was a little closer to being broken but he couldn't even care.

good thing the room was empty except them. sungchan smacked his lips closed when the chinese exploded. but instead of getting mad, sungchan grew more softer when he realized that renjun is crying again.

"hyung..." he cautiously inched closer towards renjun who was trying his best not to sob.

renjun breathed heavily and gestured sungchan to stop moving forward. "l-leave me alone," he commanded.

being a hard headed he is, sungchan did otherwise and pushed his luck and caged renjun's narrow frame on his arms. he tried to hush him but he only cried harder.

"it's okay. i'm here," sungchan rubbed his back in attempt of comforting him.

renjun is used to keeping things to himself. he likes to swallow all his emotions and never show it to anyone. and today, he bursted.

he thought he doesn't need anyone. that he's fine being alone. when mark came, renjun started to be emotionally dependent to him. mark is his wall he always leans on.

but now that mark couldn't, renjun thought it's him and himself again. sungchan just really had to butt in and prove him wrong.

he loosely wrapped his arm around sungchan's waist and buried his face unto his chest. "if you tell the others i cried today i'm going to throw your dead body on han river and no one would know it's me," he tried to kid between his sobs.

sungchan chuckled at the funny remarks. "don't worry, it's a secret between us," he whispered to his ears.

㊙️

are u sensing whats coming hohoho