𝐏𝐬𝐲𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐜 𝐎𝐛𝐬𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 [𝟏𝟖+] ✔

56

The past three weeks have flown by, the same cycle; eat, sleep, work, repeat.

I should probably add in there that officers turned my house upside down, finding eight cameras and one voice recording device. I should also add in that I've not seen or spoken to Ewan and Jason since he dropped me off at home that day... I couldn't risk it.

I still can't.

Toby is out there somewhere, hiding. I don't feel comfortable being home alone or going to work by myself, so Gabriella and I have changed our locks, rejigged our shifts so we are on at the same time. I don't get escorts anymore, or even officers watching my house or work, as if the hunt for Toby has gone to the back of their heads.

Gabriella has been my saving grace, my sidekick while I keep looking over my shoulder every second. We redecorated the house within four days, but I couldn't go into Jason's room without tearing up, so Gabs gave it her own little makeover and called it the man cave.

I need Toby to be found and treated, to be taken off the streets so I can be at peace, so I can see Jason and Ewan again.

I secretly sent money to Ewan through Gabriella's parent's account, referencing it as my usual half for Jason's Christmas presents. I'm not sure how they're doing, he hasn't been active on social media for me to stalk them, to see their happiness while I fall apart.

Although Gabriella has some form of communication with him, neither of us will risk it by mentioning me to him.

Ewan refused when I told him that I had to cut ties, that with police swarming the hotel and coming up empty, I couldn't chance anything happening to him, and more importantly, Jason. He begged me, stood at my front door until I sobbed in his arms, telling him exactly what Toby said and how he bugged my house, how he can literally do anything and somehow get away with it.

He pressed his lips to my forehead, lingering before he pulled away, his eyes were wet as he chewed on the inside of his cheek. I felt the twist in my chest, the gutting feeling while our eyes were glued before he left when Gabs came running up the driveway in a panic.

That was the last time I saw him.

Christmas day was lonely. For the past ten years, regardless of our relationship status, I always spent it with Ewan and Jason. This year, I spent it in bed with Gabs, binging on a show called Vikings and wishing I were as strong as Lagertha.

Oh, I got a new phone, eventually, opened up my Instagram account again and turned a blind eye to the many tagged posts slandering me. It's not as bad as it was before, but they still trickle into my messages now and again, some crazy people asking me for details on dating a psychopath and where they can find one.

People are fucking nuts.

I was able to sort my bank accounts out, securing them from further theft, and refunded every penny that was stolen from me. I have a new car, cut my hair to give myself annoying bangs that fall in my eyes. Oh, let's not forget that I'm now four months pregnant with twins, so I'm sick nearly all the time. Sleeping doesn't come easy, especially with a chest that's tripling in size, and all I can think about is eating Chinese food.

Dad has been trying, sending me long as fuck voice notes while Mum complains in the background. He offered that I come to their place for the New Year, but after finding out that my own mum spoke to the press about me, I refused, silently telling them to go fuck themselves.

So, yeah... life is just fucking great at the moment. Toby has successfully made me more paranoid than I thought possible. He's broken me away from Jason, and even Ewan. I wake up every morning wondering if it will be the day all my demons stop haunting me, that I'll turn on the news and Tobias Mitchell will have been found. But nope, that day has yet to come.