Fading (A Calum Hood Fan Fiction; Sequel to Pretending)

Chapter 17: The Other Her

2 weeks before

Have you ever had that moment when you wake up in the morning with a huge real smile on your face because you had an amazing dream, and you just lie in your bed as you reminisce each and every single thing that happened about it? Well that's what's actually happening to me right now. But the thing is, everything I am looking back at wasn't a dream at all. Everything was indeed real, and it happened. I was there, he was there, with all the music and lights, and we danced together. Everything felt so surreal. It was one of those scenarios that I always picture inside my head before going to sleep, and now it actually happened. But never for a moment, even for a mere second that I thought that it would be him. That it would be Calum. Quiet weird, isn't it? A few weeks ago, the every fiber of my being hated everything about him. And now, I don't quite understand. I couldn't seem to stop thinking about him, or even try to shake him off of my mind. His smile always flashes in my head, and without even noticing I would start smiling because of it. Maybe there's something in me that I should figure out, and I'm dying to know whatever it is. Maybe he could help me find out about it, I'm not sure. But I know, something has changed within me. And I'm pretty sure I like it.

After getting ready and all, I started walking around the hotel and made my way to where Calum is staying at. It's only ten in the morning, and I somehow suppose that he's still sleeping by now. But I guess everything would be worth the try, right? I just want to spend some more time with him. I don't know, I can't quite gather all my thoughts about why all of a sudden I am being like this. I want to get to him more and better, and I can feel that he's really giving me a chance. I like how he's making me feel that he enjoys my company too, so I'm taking all the chances I could get. I really don't know, I'm not sure. I'm not sure why am I being like this. This is why I'm trying my best to figure out what's been going on inside my mind. I want to find out if there's really something.

I keep passing by some people who greets me with a smile, and then they would look really amazed on what I'm wearing. Today, I decided to wear a black dress with sunflower prints all over it that I paired with my dark blue Toms. I put my hair up in a nice fishtail braid, that suited my outfit very well. I'm somehow starting to get satisfied about how I look, basically I really wanted to impress someone in particular. I love wearing dresses like this, because I like how they always suit me. My mother always believed when I was young that I would end up being a model when I grew up, but I guess her passion clung into me. I found myself in music. And because of music, I'm starting to really get to know who I really am, and what I really want.

I started looking around the hall to check if I'm at the right place. It was indeed the correct room, just like what I asked. I pulled and straightened my dress and took a really deep breath before deciding to knock on his door. But just when I was about to knock, a little, or should I say maybe some strange and loud shuffling around in his room started coming out. It was indeed weird, because I actually heard it. There were footsteps too, so I suppose he's not alone. Curiosity started building up on me. So by then, instead of knocking, I gently and slowly pressed my ears through the door and tried to process whatever was happening inside his room.

Eavesdropping, I know. This is really not nice but, I don't know.

"I got up early so I could come with you and now you're saying that let's just not do it anymore? Seriously Calum, it's been like what, four days? It's been six days since you said that you're gonna get yourself a newphone and now you're saying no?" A voice, whom I could recognize is Michael, exclaimed. It was the type of shouting but trying to stay quiet kind of shout.

"Maybe my old phone would work again." Calum replied, his voice being a bit muffled. I think he's still on his bed. I suddenly laughed silently on myself.

"Can't you fucking see it's broken? You're waiting for nothing, or maybe you just don't really care at all." Michael sounded really mad, and for some reason, my chest suddenly felt a bit heavy.

"Why do you care anyway?" Calum retorted with a laugh, his voice being a bit loud and clear this time. "Jesus Michael just stop acting like my mum and just go mind your own business and fuck your groupies."

It was that moment that one of my hands held my mouth. I completely don't understand what's going on, but I'm kind of really tensed about what is happening right now. I suppose that this is some serious matter, and with what I could hear, these boys are really arguing about something.

"You're completely dumb, aren't you?" Michael spat out, and I could feel he doesn't seem to sound calm anymore. "Aren't you even thinking that back home, she might be waiting to hear anything from you, and you fucking seem not to even care at all?"

She?

"She 'might' not." Calum replied roughly and plain, probably emphasizing a particular word.

Another round of shuffling went out. No one among them talked again. In my place, I don't know if I still should knock or not anymore. There is something that's going on, and I don't have any idea about it. I know I probably don't have the right to, but it could be what's been bothering Calum, as I could always see from his features this past few days. He seem to always block anyone, or push his friends away. I don't want to seem like I am not minding my own business, but I admit I'm worried. And to be honest, I care.

"So," Michael started speaking again. "What now?"

I didn't hear any reply from Calum anymore. I pressed my ears even more closely to hear something inside better but I was right. He's not saying something anymore.

"Calum-" Michael paused, an unamused laugh coming out from him. "Don't tell me you finally decided you're going to do this stupid publicity stunt and shit with that girl."

I covered my mouth once again, this time, I nearly choked. They're talking about another girl this time. And that girl, is no other than me, myself and I.

"So?" Calum asked blankly, his voice making it obvious that he's not in the mood to talk about this whole situation. Or probably, he doesn't really care at all. I tensed up a little bit.

There was a little of silence again, and I took my chance to take another deep breath. I don't understand why this whole thing is making me all problematic and tensed.

"You know what, I shouldn't really care at all." Michael said again, with his little fake laugh.

"You should have done that a long time ago." Calum replied, his voce still plain and blank.

"Yeah. Go fuck yourself and your stupid stunt."

Michael spat out for the last time, and even though I could actually hear his voice getting closer in each passing second, I didn't even mind to move or walk away or run. For some unexplainable reason, I got stuck on where I was standing, feeling like everything in me had gone cold and frozen. I feel like if I tried to talk, I would choke on my own breath. My chest feels heavy, and I'm finding it hard to somehow breath. I remained standing there, with my hands on my chest. In about a few seconds, the door busted open and Michael looked a lot surprised to see me standing there.

I know by this moment, I should run, or maybe slap him on the face for giving out comments about me like that. But I know at some point I was wrong too. I eavesdropped, and it wasn't really nice at all. I don't know what to do or what to say, so I just stood there, with my head down, and my eyes looking nothing in particular at the floor.

I assumed that he would say something to me. Maybe a "what are you doing here?" or "why the fuck are you here?" or maybe "did you hear everything?" but no. He didn't say anything, or even mumble just a single word. After standing and looking in front of me for just three seconds that felt like ages, he started walking away. By then, I know, Michael doesn't ever want to be associated with me.

Was there something wrong that I did?