Fading (A Calum Hood Fan Fiction; Sequel to Pretending)

Chapter 15: The Other Her

3 weeks before

Tonight is the first night of the US Tour of 5SOS here in LA, and in about a few minutes, my band and I will be hitting the stage already. I'm not quite sure about the exact time we still have left, since a little bit a while ago, some member of the crew knocked on my door and told me "twenty minutes!" then immediately ran off. I keep pacing back and forth around my own mini dressing room, since I'm the only girl among the band dudes. My sweaty hands keep trembling, and I couldn't seem to even utter any single word. I know I have performed in front of many people before, and my band and I had played shows in different places around here too, but not with this kind of amount of people. Before, we only play and jam out with hundreds, or maybe less, of people watching us. But tonight, and for the very first time in the history of my entire life, my band and I will be playing a show in front of thousands of people watching us. I will be singing songs with a large amount of audience watching me in a large stage, with lots of lights hitting my face, inside an arena. Never in my life had I thought that this would ever happen to me; even being in a band, or even sing in front of many people like I always dream of when I was a kid. They only happen all the time in my daydreams, in my wildest imagination. And now, who would have thought that it's all going to happen right now? In about a few minutes, I will be stepping another stone of this journey, and even though I don't know where it's going to take me, I know it's going to be greater than what I have right now.

I am way beyond excited. I feel ecstatic, even wonderful. But at the same time, I feel like I can't even get out of this room. I keep pacing back and forth, both of my hands intertwined and placed closely under my chin. Time is moving, and I know in a bit I need to go and rock out in there. I can't stop feeling nervous about the entire thing, and I swear I hate that I feel this kind of way. I have always wanted this ever since, then why am I so scared?

My head immediately shot up at the sound of another knock coming from the door of my room. "Ten minutes and you guys are on, Walkers!"

The moment that the door closed back again, I exhaled the breath I held for seconds that felt like forever that moment. My hands just won't stop shaking and getting sweaty, and at the same time it feels really cold. I can't seem to breathe properly this time, and I know this isn't good. How am I supposed to perform when my hands are trembling and my voice all choked up? For heaven's sake, why can't just the odds be ever on my favor tonight? It's my birthday and if fate would ever ask me what I want for today, that would be all the courage and determination to face that large crowd out there waiting for me to perform and let myself be heard live for the first time. That's just what I want tonight. Just that.

I grabbed one of the water bottles on my table and ran outside the backstage, not wanting to be seen or heard by anyone at this moment. It's already starting to get dark and I know in a bit we will be starting already. I sat down near the exit, where I came out from, and tried my best to relax myself. I closed my eyes and just sat there, filling my lungs in with the comforting air of LA. I held it as long as I could, and the moment I breathed it all out, tears started welling up in my eyes. I couldn't determine which and why am I feeling this way, but I know somehow I'd feel better if I let all these tears out of my system, and so I did.

"Keira?" A familiar voice called out. I immediately looked up to where the voice was coming from, without me having the chance to wipe off the tears that had started flowing down my already dolled-up face. Oh my god, I know my mascara had messed me up big time.

"What are y-why you here?" He asked with a tone of concern, his thick Australian accent evident on his voice. I quickly looked down and away, somehow ending up smiling to myself.

I remained where I was sitting down, almost practically on the cold hard ground already, and Calum remained standing in front of the exit way. In about a few seconds, he started walking slowly towards me, and I don't get it why my heart just started racing again.