Fading (A Calum Hood Fan Fiction; Sequel to Pretending)

Chapter 22: Him

The days went on and I'm still not over about the entire scenario that happened a few days ago. I know I'm sick, and it's probably a bit exaggerated for me to do such things like clubbing to get drunk and carried away, but that's what I did. I wanted things off my mind and I wanted to free my head, having nothing but a blank space on it. But even though I try, I just couldn't let go of it. I can't stop thinking about that day, about what happened, about everything I saw, and all about her. I focused my eyes on the road, my mind going back to that day again. She changed, quite a lot actually. Her hair is cut off short like something I have never imagined she would do, and she gained lots of tattoos too. It wasn't bad though, her skin is still smooth and clear, and I don't know why I'm using words like this right now. Anyways, it was all unexpected. I was sure back then that someday somehow, we'll pass each other by. But never in my mind had I thought that we will see again that day, at that kind of situation.

Everything seemed so suffocating. I can't even speak, or just utter even a single word or two, because I feel so weird or probably intimidated by her presence. She wasn't like the girl I used to know- the one who always tends to look down when someone is staring at her, or would stutter when talking in front of a group of people. She gained too much confidence within herself, I could say. She looked more beautiful, making all of those sorts of colors on her face make her beauty stand out. She indeed looked stunning, but something inside me wishes to see the one I fe- the one I used to know.

What happened? To the bands shirts and all, the ripped skinny jeans, and all her black outfits that she suited very well with her worn out chucks. The plain pale face, that always make her gray eyes a lot more noticeable, and the little piercing on her nose, and her long messy hair... I hate to admit this, but there is this feeling in my chest that I couldn't seem to put a finger on. Or I don't know, maybe I do know what this weird feeling is. I just can't state the fact to myself because of the pride that has been eating me up ever since.

I immediately hopped of my car and ran straight to my door as I carry the suit I bought for tonight's event. We're going to an awards night, and we were informed that our band's single won an award that seems a lot like a huge kind of award, because everyone's been talking about all over the internet. We were told that we won, just for us to be completely convinced to attend, especially Michael. They only told us, especially the control freak himself, Glenn, that we must not show that we know about it and pretend that we're completely stoked about the awarding. Well as for me, I would have preferred to not know everything about it. Maybe I'd still attend, because Katy Perry will be there, and it's just a great feeling to have your band nominated at one of those awards thing. Of course it matters to me a lot, the award and all, but it could have been better if it came out as a surprise. I don't get it why Glenn is such a fuck up all the time.

My feet began making its way to my room, and I quickly put my suit on one of the racks on my closet then threw myself on my very messy and unmade bed. I let out a deep sigh, my eyes all focused on the ceiling of my bedroom. It somehow amuses me how I can sometimes manage to have a blank mind, then in about a few minutes I will be thinking lots of things. I think that's what helps me a lot when it comes to writing songs.

And then just as I was thinking, a thought crossed my mind.

She's our photographer.

She will be there.

I quickly stood up from my bed, almost dramatically as it seems, but I guess it was all normal and caused by a sudden attack of adrenaline rush. I started looking around my room, and I just came up with the thought of probably looking completely stupid but I didn't give a shit about it. No one's around anyway, so why give a fuck? I checked the time on my phone, and I still got like three more hours to prepare before the event, but I feel like I'm running out of time to get myself ready. I immediately stripped off my clothes and hopped onto the shower to get myself clean. After what seemed like ten minutes, I was walking around in a fast pace on my room, completely naked and not minding if my windows are open. Then the thought suddenly bothered me, making me smile and laugh on my own. I grabbed a towel and wrapped it around my torso, then walked through my mirror and stared at myself, not even a bit amused of how I look for probably the first time in a long time.