Fading (A Calum Hood Fan Fiction; Sequel to Pretending)

Chapter 36: Her

Indigo, red, orange, pink and blue. I can't quite figure out how long I have been focusing my eyes on the setting sun just right in front of me, but all I know is, the sunset is what I only have to keep myself occupied and a bit busy as of the moment. I've been invited to come out and chill with the entire crew to have some beer and barbecue, but I'm not even close to having any but a bottle of water. Everyone has their own little business with someone else, and for some little reasons I don't really know why did I even say yes to Karen for the second time to come out and actually be with some people I don't want to be around with at the moment. I can feel pairs of eyes glancing at me, but of course, I will just remain on ignoring it and pretending I can't feel it. Long story short, let's just say I went out of my room just to pretend that I'm a rock. Staying still and not even having the nerve to talk to anybody.

Even though I have the ocean and the sunset to keep me away with some weird thoughts I have in my mind, I still couldn't get rid of them. After a long time that seemed like forever, I played that song again. With a guitar, and tears running down my face. I admit, I hate it with passion when it happens- crying for something I can't even figure out what. Maybe I just really have a lot inside me, that I exploded by singing that song again. I remember the first time I sang it, under the night sky on the top of the valley, it felt somewhat different from what I felt just a few moments ago inside that little studio I was in. I feel like I'm still holding on to something. Something that I know I really have to let go of, but I just couldn't let it slip away from my grip. I don't know, maybe I just have to keep on classifying  every color I see in front of me because there is no way I would want to let these bunch of people to see me tearing up while looking at the horizon, having thoughts inside my head that bothers me a whole lot.

After a few minutes of contemplating on my own, I started looking around because since it's starting to get really dark already. Some of the crew went the other way, maybe going to their rooms or I don't know, making the nine of us left near the shore. The dudes from Chasing Lines, with the help of Luke gathered in the middle and started making a fire. Keira, with a huge smile on her face, walked over the side and started telling something to her other bandmate about something. Everyone is beginning to become busy about something, that made me notice that I should start deciding if I should join them or not.

"Kristen!" Keira called.

And for some reasons, it sounded really odd.

"Come join us! You don't wanna be alone their being a rock or something, right?" She added.

I knew it, I know I was pretty busy being a nobody but it didn't seem to work. I stood up and started walking towards the fire they have made, with a fake smile plastered on my tired resting-bitch face. I know by this point, Ashton, being the asshole himself, began cheering like I'm some kind of a special personnel joining their group of people who looked like they came from that movie called Camp Rock. I know, Ashton seem to always have something to say about anything I do, but I have got to admit, he's one of the best of friends I have.

I honestly have no any idea, or maybe they left the a space without any purpose for me to seat on, but it actually seemed so perfect because I'm sitting right across the two people that I basically don't ever want to be associated with for the rest of the day, leaving nothing to block my sight away from them but the fire between us. What a perfect sight. Get the sarcasm. Well at least I'm sitting between Michael and Luke. I guess I could pretty much say that I'm safe here.

"Oh my god, I'm just-" Keira started talking with a light laugh, with both of her hands clinging onto Calum's arms. I hate to admit that I am looking at it but I just can't seem to take my goddamn eyes away from them. I don't even understand why does it seem so hard to look away from it when the very least thing that I would ever want to see is the exact scenario I have right in front of me. So even though I didn't want to, I took one of the bottles of beer that Luke has and chugged it immediately down my throat.