Fading (A Calum Hood Fan Fiction; Sequel to Pretending)

Chapter 23: Her

"Fuck." I groaned and muttered silently as I walk back to my car right after getting myself a grande mocha. I have never stopped swearing that I will never ever get drunk again the moment I opened my eyes this morning. My head is pounding, and if I really don't have to go to work, I would indeed just stay home and sleep. I don't know what has gotten into me that I got so drunk last night. Everything seemed to be such a blur, and I can't really figure out how and when did I get home. I found my dress laying on the floor, and I was in this... gray sweater and gym shorts the moment I woke up. I couldn't really figure out what happened, that every time I think about it, it's just making my headache worse.

I'm pretty sure I look shit. I'm not trying to sugar coat it anymore, I mean I know I could use words like "ill" or "sick" or probably tired, but the moment I faced the mirror this morning, the very first thing I literally said was "shit". I have dark circles around my eyes, and I look pale and tired like I'm dehydrated. Partying is always fun, I know. But maybe I should really stop going like almost every single night or else I'm going to die. And of course, I finally got a decent job. A good pitch, like I always wanted to call it. Although I don't like the people that I'm always going to be around with, I should learn how to keep up with this. Money is what matters on this. And plus, some other management might see my pictures and it might make them get me too. I smiled to my thoughts. I like how my mind is working right now despite the fact that my head feels like it is being hit non stop.

Before starting my car and head my way to where that another shitty meeting with stupid people is going to happen, I took my bag that has all my make up and put out my extra clothes then head out to the nearest bathroom I could use. I just got into the realization that I could never face everyone looking like total shit, and I believe that as a professional photographer, I should look really presentable. Is that even true? I don't know, I have my own beliefs. After putting on a high waisted skirt that I paired with a black crop top, I started applying my make up. I always laugh whenever I do this, because it reminds me so much of something I did way back in my high school days. Crop top and a skirt? Those were the days, man. I thought. After a few minutes, I laughed on my own and put on my leather jacket then head out. Everyone around the cafe turned their heads on me, making me feel my knees slowly turn into something like jelly. I kept my cool, and even though I still feel like I walk like a freaking duck, I kept walking. Right after I went out of the place, I felt so good about everything. Especially about myself.

*

Thirty minutes. As per usual, I know and I'm aware that I'm late. But then again, who the hell cares? I don't. Before getting inside, I started looking around. At the far side near the window, around a table, a grin slowly formed in my lips. Five guys, and two girls. Each of them looked so uninterested, except for my boss who's probably trying to make everything a bit interesting by talking non stop about my photos. I stayed out for a bit, feeling a little amused on how I'm being such a little bitch to all these people who have been waiting for me for heaven knows how long.

After a few more minutes, I felt the need to take my jacket off and show off some skin. I moved my sleeves on the side, showing off the strap of my bra. I put on a fearless face, like I always wanted to do before facing them, then started making my way towards the table where the group of people I hate sat around.

"Hi," I said, making each of them look at me, startled obviously. "Sorry I'm late. I needed to find some celery I could munch on."

Lies.

I sat beside Karen, giving all my best to pull myself together at all costs. These familiar eyes are never failing to put me into my weakest form, but I'm never going to let it happen. I crossed my legs and put my arms on the table, supporting my chin as I smile while focusing on Glenn. Everyone looked stunned, or probably still startled, but I couldn't care. I know I made a stupid scene and annoyed pretty much all of them but I wanted to do it. Hell, I'm addicted to it.