Taga Long

Hannah and Caleb

This was perfect, now Josh wouldn't answer my calls, and when I would see him at school, his sentences were short and distant, and he hadn't even kissed me! How could he still be upset? That thing with him and Caleb happend two days ago for crying out loud!

I had skipped out on lunch today, and decided to take cover in the library. For some reason, I just didn't want to sit and chat with everyone and pretend everything was okay. Everything was far from okay.

I felt so confused, so distraught, I didn't know what to do with my self. But one thing that I did know was that, I couldn't keep doing this. I couldn't keep going back and forth between two guys. My heart wasn't able to handle something like that.

I sighed. "What am I going to do mom?"

Of course I got no response, but I imagined what she might have said.

"Oh baby, go with your heart. Just remember to take your brain with you."

But how was I suppose to follow my heart if I didn't even know where it stood? Currently, it was out there in limbo.

If Josh keot giving me the silent treatment, I didn't know what I would do. And, since Caleb confessed his love to me, I'd sort of been avoiding him a little. Right now, I just needed to think. I needed to get my thoughts straight, and I needed to become level-headed. I also needed to think about this baby.

There was no telling what the next eight months was going to bring. But one thing was for sure, I didn't want to bring it into such a confused place. I wanted to have my ducks in a row. I still wasn't sure if I was going to give my baby up, which I probably wasn't. It just wasn't something that I could fathom. Especially with what I'd been through in these first seven weeks of my pregnancy.

After lunch, the day went by quicker, and before I knew it, the final bell was ringing. I was on my way to my locker when Hannah caught up with me.

"There you are! Where were you, I haven't seen you since this morning." She fell in step beside me.

"Yeah, I know."

"So how was your extra long weekend? I didn't seen you at any of the parties."

"That's because I didn't go. Parties aren't really my thing."

"Hmm, funny. I saw Josh last night at Blake's party."

I cocked a brow, he hadn't said anything to me about it. Then again, we weren't really talking to each other. You'd think that he would have at least mentioned it.

"I guess I just figured you would have been there since you guys are like...always together."

I didn't want her pressing further, so I changed the subject. "Hey, how come you never told me about you and Caleb?" It was something that had been at the back of my mind.

Her face became slightly surprised before she just shrugged it off, a blank look now on her face. "You never asked."

"Yeah, like I would think to ask about your past love life with my best friend."

She sighed. "Why does it even matter? That was so long ago Tab."

I shrugged as I shoved my book in my locker. She waited and then we made our way towards the front of the school together.

"It seemed pretty serious when I heard about it."

"Well it wasn't." She snapped. A short pang of grief shot acrossed her face before she masked it.

I frowned, what was that all about? "You know you can tell me. The only people I really talk to is you, Caleb, and Josh."

"Which is exactly why we are dropping it." She gave me a look that was meant to be a glare. But I knew Hannah, she was entirely too sweet to even be slightly intimidating.