I Love You, I'm Sorry

Guilt

"Wait you what?" I was full of shocked. For god sake, Granger has been through a lot, i really want to hug her tightly at this point. Weasly should be very grateful to have someone as genuine as Granger, how come he fucking cheated on her and cause this girl a huge trauma? I really want to beat his ass. Why does Weasley have to cheat on her if he doesn't want her again? He could've talked things through with her. without having to involve someone else in the relationship

"When i bumped into you at Diagon Alley the other day , i  actually was just released from St Mungos, because the heartbeat is no longer there so actions need to be taken" she sighed.

"Granger, why don't you tell me?" I asked

"So what? So you can give me the ' i told you so' look because i chose Ron over you?" She hissed disgustedly.

"Is that what you actually think of me? As that kind of person? I'm not here to judge" she remained silent.

"I'm suprised you still see me as the same person i used to be after almost 15 years? You know i don't see you that way. I'm still the same person who always listen to your complaints for the last 6 years in Hogwarts" I explained.

"I'm sorry, It's not like i can call you, you just went through a funeral and it's not like we're on talking terms after Hogwarts" she said

"It's fine, i deserved it, after what i- "

"Don't" she snapped

"What?" I asked

"Just don't ever mention what happened at Hogwarts. It's too much for me to handle" She tried to hold her tears, god she's so tough. The way she tried to be strong after what happened to her parents, Ron cheated and the loss of her child. 

"Im sorry, i won't then."

She nodded.

"Please don't blame yourself for the loss of the child" I told her

"I- how do you know" She asked

"Well, you lost Weasle, the cheating part must've caused you a lot of stress and overthinking, i bet you kept questioning everything wondering which part of you that wasn't enough for him. Probably wondering if you could change something back then, then things might ended up different, right?" The tears that she kept holding from the very start finally fell, she couldn't hold it anymore. I wish i can just hold her tightly in my arms right now but i don't think it's a good idea now.

"Granger, the loss of the child isn't because of you, it was because of Weasel, don't blame yourself for this" I said with full of courage.

"B-But i was the one carrying the baby, if i could control my emotions better then this baby would still be here with me, i don't mind raising the baby without the father" She tried to wiped her tears because she didn't want to become the center of attention. 

"No, all of this happened because Weasel cheated, alright? Who doesn't overthink when you get cheated on and you're carrying his child? Of course you'll question everything, please dont be so hard on yourself. Weasel was never a serious person, he was never serious with you. He kept you in the dark even 15 years later, Granger" I tried to regain her confidence because i knew how vulnerable she is right now.

"I guess you're right" She finally agreed, thank god. Her heart may be weak right now but she still has brain, she's the brightest witch after all, at least her logics are still working because there is no way she's doubting herself because of Weasel. Weasel was just an ignorant arse who cant even appreciate Woman. Even i knew i'm not a decent man either but Weasel was just being an ungrateful  son of a bitch. He got Granger and this is what he did to her, cheating. 

"So you still live with them? The Weasleys?" I asked, she was still silent playing with her straw of this drink called a milkshake.

"No, i left a few days ago, i saved a lot of money because i'm working too at that time,  and i rented a flat nearby"

"Does the Weasleys know about your departure?"

"Yeah they do, i don't have a reason to stay anymore, they gave me their full support during the hospital, they actually want to drive me home and help me unpack but i think it's best to do the farewell in the hospital because i don't want to make things harder."

"I see"

There was still silent, i guess it was still awkward for us to talk. I mean why wouldn't it be? We havent met for 15 years, we only heard each other's name from other people. Granger was trying to play with her food now i think she still avoids me which is understandable she is under a lot of pressure.

Ever since she left me at Hogwarts i kept wondering if Weasel Bee is going to be the luckiest man alive for having to be Hermione Grangers the bookworm know it all-princess 's partner for his life. But the fact that he just abandoned her like that because of his personal issues tormented me also. After everything that she's been through, all the pain that she has survived, she deserved the world, she deserved for a fresh start to be happy, she didn't deserve this, and he still fucking cheats on her?!!! Is he blind or something?!

Oh come on Malfoy you dont need to feel this way, she doesn't want you, she only considers you as friends, wait no, acquaintances.

After a few minutes of awkward silence, i decided to go home first. I just cant stand of looking at her without wanting to make things right, to fix what i had destroyed in the past. Maybe i just had to accept the fact that life isn't always about me, not everything goes the way i wanted to.

Before i was about to stand from my spot, Granger told me something that i didn't expect her to say.

"We should catch up sometime"

I still remained silent

"y-you know if you wanted to"

"Yeah sure" I smiled, for the first time that i felt that i smile, i usually smirked instead of smile but i think that it felt good because she smiled back instead of the hurt she felt.