I Love You, I'm Sorry

After

Hermione's POV

Draco Malfoy's death were a tragic accident, everybody couldn't even ask me how i feel because they know how devastated i was. It all happened so fast, i didn't even had the chance to say goodbye, i spend the last hours with him by yelling and say words i never meant to, i should've let him speak, i should've listen. It took my a while to rise back, i suffered from depression, i went to psychiatrists and healers everyday to talk about the trauma, to get rid of the nightmares, and the guilt.

I dont even know what to feel, when Draco sacrificed himself, half of me was taken my him. I dont even know where to start to describe the pain i suffered ever since. But one thing i know for sure, I will never forgive for what Rodolphus Lestrange did to Draco and Scorpious, he is still unconscious in the hospital due to the overdose the fake healers caused. I just hoped he stayed strong. His father was a brave man. Even though Rodolphus was sentenced to receive a dementor's kiss, i just somehow wished there was more, but it was all the court can do, they can never bring him back to life.

For me, Draco Malfoy and his son didn't deserve any of this. He was just a boy, who doesn't have a choice this time. He was just desperate and someone took advantage or it, and Draco fell into a hole that he can never escape from.

Due to the letter and the memory he gave me, Harry and I could clear his name so that nobody in this wizarding world knows him as the betrayal. It was a tough ride, the trial took longer than we expected, it happened all at once, while i had to heal myself and attending the trial too. Every minute of the trials brings nothing but pain, every statements from the people involved such as me, Harry, Kingsley, and of course Rodolphys Lestrange stabs me in 100 ways. Recalling the moments, having to speak to the public about it, the more facts uncovered, the more hurtful it is. But we had to, we owe him.  At least even though he's gone, we can bring justice to him and his son most importantly. He was known as a brave hero and a very good father. From this, we learned  that a father's love to their child was unconditional. Thank god i always have Harry and Ginny as support systems to fight for this justice. It was still worth it. It always was. When the trial had come to a decision, we felt a huge relief, i'm so glad that it finally end because if i had to be honest, the trial was exhausting, not to mention the press and the daily prophet who keeps asking us questions regarding the case. Even some reporters and press stayed in front of my flat to interview. 

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"How are you feeling?" Harry asked. I just stayed silent, not because I'm mad, it's just because i don't know what to say. We won in the trial, but it's not an entire victory, Draco will not come back.

"I owe you a huge apology" He said.

"Harry you don't have to explain anything"

"No, i do. I'm the person responsible. We haven't talked much ever since his funeral because we're too focused on the trial. But you need to know. It was my mistake, it was my fault all along, i was too late. I received reports but it took me a while to connect the dots. At first, i thought it was just an assumption until i started to dig more and figured out what was going on. If I figured it out earlier, things would've been so different now. " He dropped a tear, he looked so guilty.

"Harry, you don't have to apologize, it was never your fault. I never thought he could be well-planned with all of this" I held his hand.

"You lost Ron, and now you lost Malfoy, you just found rainbows after storms and now your rainbow's gone because of me" im out of words. He's right, my rainbow's gone.

"We love you and will always be here for you Mione, whenever you need us. We'll get through this together."

"Thank you Harry" i sighed.

"Well i'm sorry but i need to get back to work, lunch break is almost over. Call me or Ginny if you need anything okay?" He asked.

"I will"

After Harry left, im still in complete silence, drowned in my own thoughts. I used to believe that everything in this world has a choice, but i would have been lost if i were in Draco's position. There is no right or wrong, the only important thing is how to make it right. I never know how long does it take for me to accept and made peace with the situation. I always re read his letter, it was the only memory of me and him left. It feels like he was talking to me. It has become my motivation whenever i feel like the weight of the world is on my shoulders. Draco would never want to see me fall, he wanted me to rise, and renew.

To My Dearest love Hermione Granger

I used to live in an environment full of hate, anger, blood classes, and revenge. I used to think life is so hateful. But the first time i saw her, i just saw an angel, i never regret the time we were in the Forbidden Forrest during first year, that is where our friendship grow. I knew our friendship didn't came as strong, as romantic as you expected like what with you have with Weasel King and Saint Potter, we had our own dramas, but nevertheless, you were the best thing that ever happened to me, Granger.

I knew back in Hogwarts I haven't been the best friend figure that you expected, i let you down more than the universe can count. I just thought if i never left on that day, things would be so different now. But when i saw you again, i believe we'd been given a second chance, the universe gave us a second chance.

We were so close on starting over and make things right, and I really want to apologize for the hell i put you through, i knew all of my actions are unforgivable, but what we had every single of it were real. I had plans for us, i'm so close on going to be the best friend you hoped years ago, but In a blink of an eye, everything changed a lot, and i'm sorry for that, and in a few days, or probably years, there will be changes in things, except me who will always love you, missing you and hoping that one day you'll forgive me too.

When i said i loved you, those statements are not just for today, but for tomorrow, and forever. I don't know what would happen after i wrote this, but i just hoped that i could get a chance to get to know you more and meet again. probably start over if i'm lucky and if you want to. But if i don't, i just want to let you know that theese last moments were the best ones of my life. Whatever happens, i just want to let you know that I never loved anyone as much as i love you. You were the person who taught me how to love, and love do really exist.

Here are some photos of us that will remind you of me, but i didn't want you to be sad, if you're sad, then i'll be 10 times more, just live Granger. I always knew you will do great things in your live, WHat can i say? You're the Hermione Granger, bravest and brightest witch of our age. On the days i almost had you, or probably i do already had you, i just want you to know, that i never stopped loving you. So, just remember, whenever you feel lonely, just look at the sky , and no matter where i am, I'll always look down for you. I knew i disappoint you for saying that we better just stayed friends, but i never stopped loving you, Hermione, not even for a second. I love you, Hermione. I truly deeply love you. You are my dearest friend, my deepest love, the very best, forever.

-Draco M.

I was in our favorite cafe, in our favorite spot where we used to go. Reading the letter right after the trial finally ends suddenly makes some of the weights i carried for the past few months lifted, i put back the letter to my bag. With a heavy heart, and with a tear dropped from my face, i dared myself by looking up to the sky for the very first time because i knew from now on, he'll always watch out for me and took care of me from heaven, i smiled.

"I love you too, Draco"