I Love You, I'm Sorry

Worried

I left the Cauldron with my head spinning around. I tried to keep my heads straight but i kept stopping because my head hurts so bad. Hundreds of thoughts were running inside it. Like what? Granger? Why would Rodolphus wants anything to do with Granger? He wasn't even there when the trio arrived at the Manor, i wonder why. Why does handing Granger over will be so important to him? What does Granger had to do with destroying Potter's life? Except her being Potter's best friends and the braniacs of the golden trio. Other than that? Nothing.

I suddenly stopped, unless, he wants Hermione dead, it will rip his heart to pisces, she's been with him since the very first day they entered Hogwarts. She's not just one of his loyal best friend, but she's considered as family by Potter, with the Weasleys of course. Damn it Rodolphus, why can't you do it alone, why do you have to use me to destroy them. It took me a while to be trusted by the ministry, to be able to work again, to be able to live in a normal life after the mess my parents made by joining the death eater. Doing what i possibly can to provide for this family, for my son.I owe that to Potter. Handing her to Rodolphus would be a tremendous betrayal to Potter, and to her as well.  i bet Rodolphus going to spill who helped him to tear Potter even more, i still remember how Death Eater works.

Come on Malfoy think, do you really want to betray the person who helped you settle your life back again after you bullied him for 7 goddamn years? He helped me to get this job, he's one of the people who testified in order to clear my name, but my son's life was on the line here. Does Rodolphus really mean what he said? Or he just do that to tear me apart? To scare me in order for him to succeed on his mission?

Ever since Granger's name was mentioned by him, i can't stop thinking about her, well not in a loving way. Where has she been all this time? She didn't work as an auror nor any other division in the ministry, she doesn't work at the Hogwarts either, or the quidditch team since i know she hates flying. She just disappeared, Potter doesn't seem to mention her, he wasn't even there on Platform 9 3/4.

Weasel bee was there in the ministry but, oh come on Malfoy why do you have to think of those filthy mudblood? She isn't even worth to be think of by a person like you. You should've focus on yourself, how are you going to spend the rest of your days being unemployed temporarily? Perhaps i should get a part time job, or maybe not? Having a vacation will be nice.

I arrived at my house feeling a dizzy, i decided to tell my house elf to prepare for dinner. It's quiet since Scorpious left, ever since things got better, we've been getting along pretty well, we do everything together (well except taking a shower). I can't believe i let my hideous uncle blackmail me to hand in Granger.

"The way you laugh with Potter is just so pathethic, he's your former enemy, the person who got your father into Azkaban, how do you live with yourself Draco?"

"Dammit" I muttered, i didn't realize i heard a knock on my door. God what should i do?

"Master Malfoy are you okay?" i turned myself around and i saw one of my house elf standing in front of my room door.

"Yeah yeah i'm fine" The knock is actually a sign to tell me that dinner's ready.