I Love You, I'm Sorry

Well Well

I woke up with a scream of me being tortured by the Dark Lord for being unsure that it was Saint Potter and the gang on the day at Malfoy Manor. My doubt about them gives them enough time to escape, again even though Granger has to be tortured. I can feel that my body is sweating as soon as i woke up, i can still feel frightened even though it's just a dream.

I realized it's dawn already, i really want to get back to sleep because i feel sleepy but their scream back in my house and during the war stil haunting me as if i'm currently in that place witnessing their pain. I know for a fact that i'm still haunted by guillt, especially to Granger. Granger never accept my apology and the last time she said before she said goodbye was that i was a coward and a liar. I just wished i coul've done something to help but i didn't.

After a few hours of thinking, and mourning myself being drowned by guilt. My house elf knocked my room door saying that my breakfast is ready, i stormed out from my room and grabbed a coffee to prevent my sleepiness. the house feel so empty without the both of them, Astoria's chair were empty, she usually makes me coffee first thing in the morning and my own coffee tastes nothing like hers. I swear Astoria has given me the steps and recipee, i even wrote it down on a piece of paper and pinned it on my fridge, but still, everytime i tried to make it. I always ended up spout my coffee on my first sip.

"Ugh it tastes horrible" I put a disgusted face on my own coffee.

"Fuck it" Mine was pretty bad but i needed it because i'm planning to go outside and have a tour in Diagon Alley.

In a few seconds i arrived due because of apparating. I decided to go and look around, at first i wanted to go at the Weasleys Wizard Wheezes but i can't if i had to meet George, i feel the guilt about Fred's death even though i had nothing to do with it.

I decided to go to the Florish and Blotts to go look for books, believe me i'm a quite bookworm also, the Library was where i used to hang out with Granger back in Hogwarts. After the bookstore, i decided to go to Quality Quidditch Supplies i remembered i used to beg for my dad to buy me the latest newest version of broom every year. I was such a spoilt brat so my dad bought me one, even he bought for the entire team so i can be on the quidditch team on 2nd year.

After i'm done admiring the newest version of the broom, i decided to leave and walk but my sight was still on the broom, i didn't realize it until i bumped into someone. I immediately grabbed the book that she dropped because of bumping me, without looking at this person's face first.

"I'm so sorry i didn't see-" after i tried to give back the purse to the woman but then my face was full of surprise, it was..

"Granger?" I asked in full of shock. Thats the only thing i can say because i didn't expect to bump into her

"I-i'm sorry my fault" She just snatched the book from my  hands and just left, she seem in a hurry and her eyes seem puffy. I can tell that she just cried.

"G-Granger wait" but i didn't move my ass. I dont even know but my instict told me to follow her, but i dont think now is a good idea.  My heart is battling with my mind.

"Fuck it" and i decided to run hurrily to follow her, thank god i can still coought her in an eye where she was heading, Diagon Alley was pretty much very crowded, but the way she walks were very fast. i can tell she's trying to stay away from the crowd and trying to find some quiet place.

After 10 minutes of following her to god knows where, her walk slowed down she stopped into a bench with a mini fountain behind it, she stopped and sit on that bench and i can hear a little of sobs, she's crying.

I'm watching her from afar, not being brave enough to come to her and comfort her, seeing her cry breaks my heart i don't know why. She's obviously going through something, something hurtful, and handing her over to Rodphus would hurt her even more.

I've been living in this world for almost 30 years and i didn't know this place exist, but my head was too focused on looking at her, i couldn't take my eyes away from her. Despite my mind telling me to just walk away for now but i just couldn't. I wondered why or most importantly who caused her crying like this. Her cry is so familiar as if i heard this kind of cry before, and i remembered, it was like Malfoy Mannor.

"You do realize that if you kept looking at her like that you're gonna look like a bloody stalker right?" Suddenly a calm and small voice appeard behind me and makes me jump a little.