I Love You, I'm Sorry

Pain

I turned around and apparently, it was Blaise. That damn git, what is he doing here?

"What the hell are you doing here? You're following me too now?" I snapped.

"Jeez relax Malfoy, i was in Diagon Alley earlier and i saw you running to god knows where so i decided to follow you"

"How do you know it was me?" I asked

"Well who else uses suit during summer other than you Malfoy?" I rolled my eyes as i turned back looking at her like an idiot, he giggled. As much as i'm annoyed, i can tell that he may had a point, my style was a little bit formal for just hanging around at the Diagon Alley. Correction, way too formal.  It's been the habit of the Malfoys for centuries, and people might say, old habits die hard.

I let Blaise also look at her crying from afar. He seems curious about who is this girl that i'm looking at.

"Who is that? Your ex?" He asked with a very loud voice.

"No Zabini " I whispered angrily. "that's Granger"

"What? Hermione Granger? As in your secret ex girlfriend? 

"How many Hermione Granger do you know Zabini? And no she's not my girlfriend" I annoyedly asked him back.

"Then what are you waiting for? Go" I can tell he pushed me a little to go to her.

"Keep your voice down!" I whispered angrily again.

"Go!" He screamed in a whispering tone.

"I beg your pardon? No you idiot i can't just go to her like that, i'm probably the last person she wants to meet right now"

"Why?" He asked

"Because she's crying Zabini! Somebody caused her to cry i can't just walk over there say hi and comfort her. Not after what i did to her the last time ."

"But-" Blaise about to say something but i cut him off

"Come on Zabini i'm going"

 I decided to leave her there for there was nothing that i could do right now, i decided to look at her again before im heading out of that place. Blaise asked me to go with him to the Leaky Cauldron to meet with Pancy but i declined, instead i wanted to go home and just go to sleep, i had so much to handle in just one day. Meeting with the annoying arse Pancy was the last thing i want to do because i couldn't handle her high-pitched voice.

When i arrived home, obviously i couldn't go to sleep, those images of her crying is just so painful to hear, it kept playing inside my head on a loop. Even though i didn't know the cause, what or who made her cry like that. The way her hands were covering her face of her trying to be strong when nobody is there to hold her and tell her everything is okay is just, i don't know, painful. She tried her best not to make a single sound but i could tell that she was on verge of tears. 

"What happened to you, Granger? Who hurt you like this?" I asked myself. But i can't just ask her what's going on, i'm probably the last person she wants to see, especially after what i did to her. I haven't heard of her, I thought she might have gone back to London because she's a muggle, does she live here now? Or does she just come by to visit Potter and The Weasleys? 

Suddenly my thought came back to her cries, again. Her cry reminds me of the Malfoy Manor incident, the horrifying image that i want it to disappear. Her scream was still haunting me, i wondered how could she be so strong after all this time. She sacrificed a lot, no wonder she was called The Brightest Witch of Our Age. A muggle who came into a world she never expected existed, probably hoping to have a normal teenage life but instead she accidentally became friends with a boy who got chased by death every school year. And then suddenly she had to make big sacrifices, leaving school in her 7th year in order to help her friend to save the world and become on the wanted list as if she's a top wanted criminal in fact all she wanted was to help her friend to save the world. Witnessing death, loss and of course torture, by my own aunt. 

I kept pushing myself to go to sleep but ended up didn't sleep at all due to overthinking.

"Draco come downstairs," Mother said.

"Why Mother?" I asked

"We had guests coming, we might need some help from you," She said. When i came downstairs i was hoping a death eater coming, but when i arrived downstairs the first person that i recognized was a friz-haired girl. No, it can't be her  right? but when i saw her face, i froze. She was held by Greyback along with Weasle.  No, this isn't happening, why did she and her gang got caught?  We had a 1 second look but i can't really say something to her because my parents are here with me. 

Potter was being held by my Aunt but his face was a little bit damaged, probably because of the hex Hermione caused so that we couldn't recognize her. I kept thinking what can i do, what should i do, i may be a bully but i can't let my aunt torture them, i cant witness this. I tried to make an excuse that i'm not sure, that's all that i can do. My heart keeps beating loudly, hoping that this trick may work and they could let Hermione and her gang go. Not until suddenly they found out there was a Gryffindor Sword in Hermione's bag. For god sake. 

"Cissy! Put the boys into the cellar, i would like to have a conversation with this one. Girl to Girl" Bellatrix screamed right in front of her face. No, no no, she's going to be all alone upstairs, why does she has to hold the Gryffindor Sword in her bag? 

Potter and Weasle were put on the dungeon it was securely armed, they could not escape that easily. Besides, they're outnumbered, even though they cannot recognize Harry because she put a spell on his face. For the last 6 years, i have seen Potter, this is the first time i saw the haunt in his face, it describes fear entirely. Not because they're here because i bet he faced worse i'm sure, but the fact that his best friend is going to face all of us alone without him. 

Then she grabbed her hair roughly, she threw her to the floor and she got on top of  her holding a knife. God this isn't good. Following my instinct,  i was about to step forward but my mother stopped me. She held my hand signalling to stop and let Aunt Bella do the work. 

"That sword was meant to be on my Vault at Gringgots how did you get it?!" Tears started running from her face. God i can't hear this, what can i do to help. Please god with everything you have, please save her. 

"WHAT ELSE DID YOU FILTHY MUDBLOOD AND YOUR FRIENDS TAKE FROM MY VAULT?!" she screamed even louder.

"Please, i didn't take anything" That's the only thing that she could say.

"I dont believe it" then she started carving a word that i dont even know with a knife, the knife was sharp and it hurt to the very bottom part of her skin. she kept screaming and screaming from the top of her lungs. Bellatrix is so psycho, she was laughing at her screaming. I heard Potter and Weasleys scream from the dungeon, yelling at us to let her go and, my heart hurts when Potter yelled "TAKE ME, TAKE ME JUST DONT HURT HER", how i wished i could say that out loud.  I kept silent and closed my eye, trying to think of anything other than the horrifying image in front of me, but i just can't, her screams were too real to hear. 

"DRACO DRACO!" I knew i was her only hope, i tried to took another step but my Mother held me back. I gave her a deadly glare for the first time.

"Stop" She whispered

"Let me go"  I hissed 

"Draco, stop"

"If she dies, i'll blame you" I said firmly.

"I'm not letting you near because i'm not going to let my sister torture you" She whispered back.  

"Mother, please" 

"I said no, Draco"

My biggest sin was that i just stayed there, froze, didn't do anything, too cowardly to do the right thing. I  looked the other way around and my Mother kept holding my hand, not because she knew about me and Hermione, but because she knew that i still haven't get used to things like this, thank god she bought the lies i told. 

"How dare you ask my nephew for help?! CRUCIO!" That night it felt like forever, seconds feels like days, and minutes feels like months. It felt like the longest day of my life. I just hoped a mircale could came, i knew that this is cliche and if anyone asked i'd deny it. But i really hope Potter found a way to save her because i couldn't do so.