Night Changes

26

The mug was hot against my fingers, almost to the point of scalding. I had only been holding it a few minutes, and I could feel the searing against my skin. Normally, I would have put it down. But right now, I liked the fact that I felt something other than the pain in my chest.

I hadnt said much since coming into Louis and Nialls apartment a little over an hour ago. When Louis opened the door, taking in my red, swollen eyes and a bag over my shoulder, he said nothing. Simply stepped aside and let me come in. Niall had been on the couch, watching a football game, until he saw me. Immediately, he muted the TV, standing and coming to me.

He opened his mouth to speak, but I just shook my head. I didn’t want to talk about it. Not yet.

Instead, I sat on the couch, dropping my bag beside it. Moments later, Louis handed me the tea which was now in my hands. I was now flanked by the two boys, both looking at me nervously and expectantly. None of us said anything.

I didn’t know how to talk about what had happened in the last hour. It was weird to think that just over an hour ago, these two had dropped me off at my building after a day in Central Park. A weighted, distracted day, but a pleasant one if I looked passed my own incessant worrying.

Unfortunately, all my worrying was warranted, and turned out to be much less than the reality. Anytime my mind went over the events of the evening, I felt myself become nauseous. Never had I expected things to get as bad as they did.

I knew he would be mad. I had no doubt that we would fight, and probably end up with one of us sleeping on the couch. I was prepared for that, although I wasn’t looking forward to it. But what I wasn’t prepared for was coming home to find Harry drinking, half drunk, and full of belligerence. And nothing could ever prepare me for what he had done to me. What he may have done.

I didn’t know how to tell Niall and Louis what happened. How did you explain something like this? How did you tell your friends what the love of your life assaulted you?  There were no words to explain how I felt at the moment, so instead, I stayed silent.

I don’t know how much time passed before Louis spoke up.

“You can stay as long as you need, you know that right?”

I nodded, my eyes still on my tea.

“You can take my room,” Niall chimed in. “I will bunk with Lou.”

I saw Louis shoot him a distasteful glance, before bringing his eyes back to me. I knew they wanted to know what happened, but were too polite to ask. Plus, I was too scared for them to know. Louis’ relationship with Harry was still sensitive, so to tell him something like this…..I knew his reaction wouldn’t be pretty. And Niall tended to have a protective streak over all his friends, especially the girls. I hated to think of what he would think of Harry if I told him this.

I felt I needed to talk about it, but didn’t know how. I knew I needed to get it out, but it felt trapped inside me.

My phone vibrated in my bag, for the tenth time since I had arrived at Louis’. And yet again, I ignored it.