Philophobia

Chapter Fifty-Three; The End

March 17th, 2011
11:41 am
Washinton D.C.

Gathered in the graveyard, it was clear that Elizabeth Doyle was really gone. For five days everyone had refused to process anything, for five days they all expected Eliza to just appear. To smile as she walked by leaving an orange-scented trail, to say something sarcastic even when the situation didn't call for it. No one wanted to admit she was gone. Now, they were all facing reality as they gathered around her coffin, laying down flowers.

Spencer Reid, however, didn't want to accept she was gone. As he stood among his teammate everything was hitting him like a truck. All of Eliza's siblings were there, even her father had made the trip. Anya Doyle had refused to come, citing the pain of losing a child as the reason. Reid didn't care about Anya's bullshit today. Reid didn't care about anything today.

His feet led him to the podium, his hands fumbling in his pockets as he grabbed the folded lined paper. It was slightly crumpled and had tear stains, but he could still make out the writing on the pages. Faces stared at him, some blank, others sad. Reid cleared his throat slightly.

"Uh, hi. I'm Doctor Spencer Reid and uh, as you may know, I was Eliza's boyfriend." His eyes fluttered back to the pages in front of him. "When Elizabeth Doyle first started working for the FBI, she mentioned something briefly about reading War and Peace, so that night I read the whole novel in English then raided my library because I knew I had an original copy. The next day I made Penelope Garcia give me Eliza's address though I didn't tell her why. I took the address and I drove to her apartment and then I stayed in my car outside for far too long and then I went upstairs. Kenzie opened the door. It terrified me because I didn't want anyone to know that I had a crush on Eliza.

"Throughout our relationship, I didn't want people to know I had a crush on Eliza. Because she was so perfect and beautiful and she used this really nice coconut curl creme that made her smell like an angel. She always made the shower really really steamy when she took a shower because she liked to watch the steam roll out of the bathroom when she walked out. She did this thing where she dog-eared almost every book she read because she thought it made her more personal. She...she never used pencils because she hated when pencils were dull." Reid paused to wipe tears from his face.

"Eliza really really cared about everyone else, always putting others in front of herself. She always had a witty comment or comeback for anyone and everyone, especially Morgan because he could never shut up. She brought Garcia a warm pain au chocolat every Friday because the coffee shop they both loved always had fresh ones. She observed everyone while they were in foreign precincts so she could find out their favorite snacks and then she secretly filled the cabinets with those snacks so everyone felt comfortable at the office."

"I...I loved the way Eliza loved me. This unconditional fierce love that never faltered no matter what I did. And I know, everyone around me cares about me and loves me but there was something different about Eliza's love, something so natural. I...I've never loved someone the way I love, uh sorry, loved Eliza. In the end, my biggest regret is not saving her from herself. She was stubborn, and I think she knew how things would end. I just wish I could have changed her mind," Reid finished. There was scattered applause as Reid bolted off the stage storming away and ripping the paper containing his speech as he did. "Stupid, so fucking stupid," he muttered to himself.

"Hey, Spence," Prentiss said softly as he approached her. She was leaning on a tree and drinking from a flask. She looked pretty good for having almost died a while ago from internal bleeding. Reid knew her doctor probably recommended not drinking alcohol, but how else was she supposed to cope with the loss of her only daughter.

"What!" he snapped. Prentiss looked taken aback at first, but then shrugged and took another swig from her flask. "I'm sorry, I'm just upset."

"Don't need to explain yourself to me. This is the second time I've lost her," Prentiss said.