𝓂𝒾𝓈𝓉𝒶𝓀𝑒𝓈-𝓈𝑜𝓊𝓀𝑜𝓀𝓊۵

24

Dazais POV

I badly wanted to sing along to the radio with Atsushi and Akutagawa but the rock in my throat and the overwhelming anxiety made it hard to forget everything that would likely happen today. Also not to mention the young boy spread across my lap, playing on an old Ds.

The idea of seeing Chuuya again haunted me. Not that I wasn't dying to see him, it was just that I knew I wouldn't get a reaction from him that I was possibly hoping for.

If I was being honest with myself I was probably in love with him. For the year I was away I missed him more than anyone else. I thought of his laugh, his small hands and the way they felt in mine, and his endless amounts of insults directed towards me.

I learned to calm my anxiety at a young age but for whatever reason, I couldn't get a hold of myself. Maybe because I knew he didn't want to see me at all.

"Almost home Q!" Atsushi yelled back to the boy on my lap.

"Thank god!" he yawned. "I gotta pee."

I motioned to Atsushi trying to show him how uncomfortable I felt.

He just scowled and turned back around to switch the radio station.

I knew everyone resented me a little for leaving so abruptly. Chuuya wasn't the only one I lost as a friend.

As the houses became more familiar I also became more familiar with the way my body felt while hyperventilating.

I knew Chuuyas street by heart. The abandoned house 4 houses down from his still looked exactly the same.

My feelings weren't all the same however, every time I walked down this street I felt overwhelmingly at home and comfortable. But now I felt crazy, to be so afraid of how such a small boy felt about me.

Akutagawa pulled into Chuuya's house, behind Chuuyas car, which meant he was most defiantly home and probably unavoidable.

Atsushi jumped out of the car and grabbed Q, rushing him inside the house to bring him to the bathroom.

Yet I couldn't move from my uptight position in the back of Akutagawa's car.

The thing to snap me out of my trance was the quiet snicker and the sound of the engine shutting off.

My eyebrows furrowed and I could feel myself getting frustrated. "How is this funny literally at all? I'm fucking freaking out! You're a bad friend." I crossed my arms slumping against the car door.

Akutagawa got quiet before I felt his foot in my face.

He snickered an apology before climbing the rest of the way into the backseat next to me.

I felt his hands grab my head. He placed my head onto his shoulder and leaned his head onto mine.

"Bruh what are you doing-" I tried to pull my head away but he held it mine down with his hand.

"Listen, I know you're scared right now, but trust me when I say Chuuya misses you more than you think. I know you both heavily relied on each other. And that you did ruin it but that doesn't mean he just stopped thinking of you."

"Akutagawa...That felt very backhanded" I laughed, feeling his shoulders bounce up and down from his own laughter.

And at that moment I felt incredibly grateful for Akutagawa. I had always been mean to him, yet he always knew what to say when I got upset.

"Thanks, man. I'm still shitting myself right now, but it felt good to know you think that at least."

He looked me in the eyes before hitting me hard in the ribs.

"You got this! Don't be a wimp!" He hollered before quickly jumping out of the car to avoid getting punched back.

I threw my head back against the headrest before quickly jumping out of the car, and running up to the door, hoping to get it over with.

I felt tingly all over and a huge pit in my stomach, I felt like I was going to vomit everywhere.

I opened the door quickly and closed it behind me but I couldn't let go of the handle, it felt like my hand was glued to it. Or maybe I just didn't want to face what was behind me.

I rested my head on the white door sighing before slowly and carefully banging my forehead against it. It was more of a light tap to remind myself to keep it together.

"Ever heard of knocking? Nice of you to let yourself in."

I felt my eyes triple in size and I whipped my head toward the source of the voice.

I knew who it was before I saw him. The overwhelming bite in his voice made that obvious.

When I looked at him I saw how he was still my same old Chuuya. His hair was slightly longer and his skin more tanned, but he still had the same freckles, and he hadn't grown an inch.

I swallowed looking at him cross armed and scowling. I wanted to hug him so badly.

I mustered up an ear to ear smile, which his face twisted in surprise at.

"Oh! Sorry! Wrong house!" I laughed before swinging the door open and walking as quickly as I could out.

I could hear a faint laugh before the door slammed shut. I thought about where I could go to hide from him. The obvious spot being the floor of Akutagawas car.

Obviously my brain wasn't working properly when I ended up diving face up into a leave bush.

I could feel the pointed ends of the sticks poking me in the back. I arched my back hoping to get some relief before I saw a figure looming over me.

He had a look of amusement on his face.

"Wrong bushes too I assume?" he said sarcastically.

I smiled the best I could before squirming around trying to get to the bottom of the big bush, to hide my red face.

"Want some help?" he said looking me up and down.

"Oh no its ok." I said frantically just wanting to get away.

He grabbed me by my arm and started pulling on me. I could feel my face redden more as his skin touched mine.

He pulled so hard he ended up falling onto his butt on the grass.

And that's when I heard what I was missing the most. His fullhearted laugh. I loved the way it sounded, and the look on his face when he laughed like that, and I loved the way I was one of the only people who was able to get him to laugh like that.

And suddenly I got jealous. Knowing there were tons of people who got to see him like this while I was gone. I missed him so much it hurt, and I knew I didn't want to try to escape anymore. I didn't even care how painfully awkward it was. And I didn't care how much he despised me, because at least I would get to see him.

I pulled myself out of the bushes feeling a throbbing on the back of my legs.

And before I could even stop myself my arms were around his neck, and my head was in his hair. And I could hear the laugh in his shoulders as he wrapped his arms around me too.

"I missed you a lot Chuuya. It hurts here." I said poking him in his chest.

He sighed before pulling away and looking at my face.

"Im unbelievably angry at you. But I also never wanna see you leave me again." he said before hugging me again.

And I could feel the corners of my eyes get wet as I rubbed my face on his shoulder, and smelt the foot loop smell on his shirt.