𝓂𝒾𝓈𝓉𝒶𝓀𝑒𝓈-𝓈𝑜𝓊𝓀𝑜𝓀𝓊۵

21

Dazais pov

I could only pay attention to the twitching streetlights as I walked away from whatever the fuck just happened. I could only think of what Chuuya said to me. I couldn't even wonder why the hell I was walking to my house right now.

Maybe I was just feeling extra impulsive. For some reason in the back of my head I thought I deserved the beating I would likely get when I saw my dad again.

I turned onto the no longer familiar street my house was on. I saw the rusty swing set I had my first kiss on when I was 10. And I saw the lake my friends and I would float in aimlessly as kids. It all felt like a movie and not actually the pathetic life I lived. I walked up my driveway seeing the bike I drove into a ditch trying to run away with. I smiled at the memory.

The outside light switched on as I walked by it up my steps. I wondered if I should knock. It didn't feel like it was my house. It felt more like a strangers.

Before I even had a chance to put my hand on the nob it started turning itself.

The door flew open and I saw a tall man standing before me. He too felt like a stranger to me. But couldn't help feeling my hands shaking in my pockets at the sight of him.

"Dazai? What are you doing? It's one fucking am."

My heart was racing and hearing his voice I regretted coming here.

I blinked at him before turning around, I realized I didn't want to get hit today.

"Wait Dazai, I need to talk with you. It's cold out there. Come inside." I heard his smooth voice say. It was hard to understand how he sounded so calm while I felt just about ready to shit myself.

It made me wonder if he knew how much he terrified his own son.

And I thought of Chuuya and how brave he was. How he stood up to everyone no matter his disadvantage. He wouldn't be scared right now.

And to say it took everything in me to work up the nerve to respond would be an understatement.

"Are you drunk?" I said, voice shaking. I turned to face him seeing him leaning against the door frame.

"No."

"Oh" I chuckled. "I am." Not sure why I told him that I walked past him into our dining room. I could still feel my heart racing.

"Thanks for coming in. Maybe you want to see your room again too?"

I narrowed my eyes as he sat into a chair across from me. I couldn't help but be suspicious of the way he was acting. I suppose he really was sober.

I scoffed. "It's not really my room. It holds no value to me. Just tell me what you want and I'll leave."

"Okayy. Well I know I haven't been the nicest father and I know you have no reason to agree to this, but I was wondering if you remembered your uncle Fukuzawa?"

I was confused and I had no Idea what he was trying to ask. "Yea you've been a pretty shit father. And yes I do remember him."

I remembered he always had at least 5 cats he was fostering. I remembered he would always go on walks with me to pick flowers when I visited him. I remembered pretending he was my real dad.

"Well you're almost done highschool and he is a university teacher."

"Okay."

"Well basically I want you to go live with him."

I could feel my face heat up in surprise. He lived all the way across the country. The idea sounded crazy and I had no reason to accept what he was saying.

"Why?" was all I could ask.

He squirmed in his seat obviously feeling uncomfortable talking with me like this. "Because I feel like he could help you. With the way you uhm act." he hesitated saying that.

I laughed. "You're a fucking hypocrite. When do you want me to go? It's currently the dead middle of the school year."

"Well there's a highschool out there. I was thinking now. I just think it would be better for you. I've been thinking and being around me really isn't safe. T would be for your own good."

He wanted me to go now? It felt completely ridiculous. My first thought was I wasn't going to leave all my friends.

"You know its way to fucking late to become a good father."

He nodded his head looking toward the stairs.

"Why don't you think about it?"

I knew he was implying I should sleep in my old room. And for some reason I stood up without hesitation.

"I'm locking my fucking door. Also I'm leaving early in the morning."

He smiled. "And when will you give me my answer?"

I hesitated because before now I was certain I would say no. It was surprising to hear myself tell him I would let him know in the morning.

hewwwoowoow. this quarantine is so fucvking boring.  also this chapter may have been a lil boring im srry if it was. anyways im thinking of edting this book soon since the first like 10 chapters are shit. also someone should play minevcarft wth me pls lol add my twt or sum cuz ik every1 is rlly bored. my gamertag and tw handle is katiiiowo :0 :)