Willow

Chapter 3

"Are you going to get up?" Kristen knocked on the door for the twentieth time. "Eventually." "Lily, come out and talk to me." She wiggled the handle, but Lily had purposely locked it so she would leave her be.

"What happened?" "Nothing?" "Something. I heard you crying this morning, so please tell me." "I didn't do anything with that guy. I just took him home. He was a jerk and I never want to see him again." She felt the tears coming again and tried to squeeze her eyes shut to stop it.

"If you don't open this door, I will be forced to pick the lock." "Please just leave me." "I won't." Lily heard her lean against the door but stayed in bed. "Come on Lily, talk to me." And that was all it took. Lily got up and before the door was barely open, Kristen had her wrapped in a hug.

"Why are you crying?" "I miss him so badly today." "Oh sweetie, I know." Kristen held her tighter. "It has been so hard the last few days. I have no idea why, but it is literally tearing me apart." "Grief has no rhyme or reason." "I thought it was getting better."

"It will. So, what happened with that guy last night? He was cute." "He is an asshole." "Do you know him?" "He was my last rider the night before, you know the one I sat and talked with? Well, I saw him at the bar last night and just stopped to say hello. He was drunk though, and I felt bad for him, so I offered him a ride home."

"And?" "Nothing. He was kind of mean. He apparently had a rough breakup and was super harsh about turning me down. Not that I was interested or asked. And I did NOT hit on him, I was just being nice." "What did he say?" "Nothing, just that I wasn't his type and I probably was just in it for his money or sex."

"What type does he have? You are pretty and sweet and have a heart of gold. What type is better than that?" "Yeah. Not everyone sees that part. Or likes the good girl. Besides, he was drunk and hurting. His girlfriend apparently broke his heart, so you know how it is. He gave me a hundred bucks though." "For?" Kristen gave Lily a wide-eyed look.

"I guess for taking him home. I thought about shoving it down his throat, but screw it, I will use it to pay my cell phone bill." Lily smiled making Kristen laugh. "There you go." "He is so weird anyway." She wiped her eyes and finger combed her mess of hair. She needed to function today.

"What are we going to do today?" Kristen smiled sweetly, changing the subject. "Don't be mad, but I think I am going to drive out to the cemetery." "You want company?" "Honestly, no. I think I need to talk to him, figure out what is going on. And if I want to cry my eyes out, I want to do it alone."

"I don't think that is a great idea." "No, but I want to. I am just feeling a little low and want to talk to him." "Call me if it is too much. Or I can go and drop you off and go elsewhere, that way you are not alone on the way back." "No, just let me go." Lily just wanted to cry today.

"Lunch first?" "Not hungry. I just want to be alone today." "I get it. Just remember its Sunday, and Troy is going to call around 8 our time." "I will be back in time." "Thanks." Kristen gave her a sad smile. "I am glad I moved in. I think we need each other." "We do." Kristen hugged her tightly.

After getting dressed, Lily decided to let Kristen go with her for support. They drove the hour to the cemetery and made their way back to his space. "Are you sure?" Lily asked as they got there. "Yes." "Alright, just call when you want me to come back." "Will do. Thanks." Lily barely looked back as she walked to the gravestone.

"Hey you." She felt the tears as she laid down the blanket and put the flowers on his stone. "Just wanted to come visit for a bit. Seems like the last few days have been harder than usual. I miss you so much." She reached over and cleaned off the leaves and straighten the angel that someone had left.

"I wish you were here. I know it has been nine months, and you would probably be upset with me for still being this upset, but I cannot help it. You were my forever, and now, I am still here, without you, and it is way too hard to do alone."

The tears came harder this time. "Why? I still ask myself that. Why you? We had it so good." She leaned her forehead against the stone and cried. "Damnit Corey. We should be getting married now, instead I am crying at your grave."

Just when she thought she was done crying a new wave washed over her and she cried some more. All she could do was hold the cold stone and wish it were him. How was she going to go on without him? He was her everything. She already knew the answers, and that meant she had to keep going on.

Each time she came here, it would all bubble up again, but it was the only place she felt close enough to him. This was her place to be with him, even if it meant laying on a cold stone and talking to the dirt.

"Lily?" She heard her name and turned to see Corey's brother. "Hey." She stood up and wiped her face. "I can come back." He offered. "No, please, stay." She walked to him and he wrapped her in a hug without a second thought.

"Still really hard, isn't it?" He asked softly. "So very hard." She choked back the tears. "How are you, other than this? We haven't seen or heard from you in months." She stepped back and he laid down the flowers he had brought.

"Good. I mean the best I can be. You know I moved in with Kristen?" "That was the last I heard from you." He smiled sadly. "Right. Well, it has been good. Working a ton and just building things back up to start over." She exhaled. Even the thought of starting over without him was torture.

"I cannot even imagine what you are going through. I wish I would have known you were in trouble though. All of us would have helped. We still would." He reached up and wiped a tear from her cheek.

"I didn't want help." "Still, you should have said something. It was hell finding out that you went through all that alone." He pulled her into another hug causing more tears to fall. He held her close, comforting her, and it was nice. It felt good for a change.

"When is it going to get easier?" She muttered against his chest. "Don't ask me, that was my baby brother and not a day goes by that I don't ache to call him." "Me too. Although, that part is getting better. I want to talk to him, but I do not grab the phone to call him anymore. Actually, I was doing really well, until a few days ago, and it just hit me again, hard." She looked down at the stone with Corey's name.

"I knew you hadn't been here in at least a month. No white daisies." He nodded to the flowers she brought. "I was trying to let myself heal." "Don't do it alone. Call me. I am always happy to talk. We promised to stick together." "We did, but I just needed some distance." "I get it." He ran his hand up and down her back and it brought her a little relief.

They stood for a long time just looking at the stone in silence. She was not even thinking, just fixed on Corey's name, until David broke the silence, taking her attention away from the final date.

"Have you found yourself a new man yet?" He teased. "No. God, I have not even looked." "You know Corey would have wanted you to." "I know. I was just talking to him about that, but I am not ready to move on. Five years of my life is laying there, and it is going to take me at least half that to move ahead." She shuttered at the thought.

"Don't do that. Lily, you need to be happy again. You had the best smile, the best laugh, and we all miss that. You were his flame. He always said if you were around, the world was brighter. I never understood that until the day you stopped smiling." He took her hand, causing her to close her eyes.

"If you weren't practically my sister, I would be that man." He teased her again making her laugh. "See, I can still make you laugh." "I am laughing at you." "Doesn't matter." "Corey would probably haunt us." She looked down and smiled thinking about how the three of them always teased each other. She missed that too. No one teased her like Corey did.

"Ok, I think it has been long enough to tell you a secret." David took her hand and led her over to a bench nearby. "If you tell me you love me, I am out." She teased back, but he was serious, so she stopped teasing and sat with him.

It took him a few minutes to start talking, and by then her heart was racing with all the possibilities. What could he be holding onto? Secrets were not always good. Please do not let it be bad, she prayed as she held her hands together tightly and waited for whatever he was going to say.