The Lifeguard Hates You (Completed)

June Chapter 19

Swimming calms me down, always has. Night swimming does the job even better. But I'm thirty lengths in and I'm not calm, I'm not angry anymore either. The feeling that's wrapped itself around my chest is something I haven't felt since she left me and I'm more than a little confused because I don't feel the same way I feel for Rory as I did for... her.

I swim another thirty lengths to try and get the strange emotions plaguing me out of my head. It's not much, I usually go up to at least 100. I was a pretty decent club swimmer in my day, I'm still pretty fast now and my strokes are impeccable. Rory asked me once how fast I was, I said I was fast enough to outrun the shark in Jaws. I probably still am actually. Tonight, however, I feel sluggish and oddly like I'm going to throw up.

I've already unlocked the first aid shed. It's basically a small little place with a small little loveseat a couple of chairs and a table. The walls are barren and there's one shelf. It's above the door and it's where we keep the first aid kit. It's where the off-rotation guard sits during the outdoor swims or where we treat any first aid situations that happen outside. My swim was impromptu so I don't have my regular stuff. You know, towel, goggles, or a bathing suit. I did my swim in just my boxers and now that the sun has firmly set, I'm cold and I'm wet.

I'm sitting on the loveseat with the first aid blanket wrapped around me. I know for a fact that the loveseat will still be damp tomorrow but that is not my problem because I'm not the outdoor shift tomorrow. Rory and Candy are the ones outside tomorrow so they can deal with it then. I haven't turned the lights on so I'm sitting quietly in the dark thinking about this turn of events and what is going on with me. I'm only half surprised when Rory's appears at the door.

She drops a bundle of fresh new clothes on me and then sits down beside me. "I figured you'd go swimming so I brought you a towel, a change of clothes and new underwear. Sorry I went through your room. I didn't see anything, just your underwear drawer, the rest is from the pile of clothes you have on the floor. I hope they're clean," she says.

She chatters when she's nervous. She's always nervous around me so she's always chatting but over the years she's gotten better with the nonstop chatter. Looks like we've taken another step backwards. She lapses into silence which is worse because I know Rory always has something to say and it's a bad sign when she doesn't want to say any of it to you.

She suddenly turns to me and says: "Don't you want me to be happy, Jay?"

"That has nothing to do with and you know it!" I snap without having to think about it.

I hate talking about my feelings but I have a feeling that tonight I'm going to have no choice. "I don't understand Jay, you have to help me understand."

I frown and refuse to look at her, but I can feel her beside me, I can feel my towel making her jeans damp. She doesn't move and neither do I, it's kind of comforting to have her this close again. "It's just all so familiar, alright? Like it's happening all over again."

She takes in what I say, I can feel her eyes on me and I don't have to turn to know that she's twitching those lips back and forth as she chooses her words. "But, Jay, it's not the same thing," she tells me and I turn to look at her. "I'm not her, and I'm not leaving you for him. You didn't want me remember? And he does."

"But he's going to hurt you," I want to shout but it comes out in this pathetic whisper.

Her frown has solidified and she has a worry crease in between her eyes. "So?" she asks.

"You're my friend Rory, I don't want him to hurt you!" I snap. She looks away from me and I sigh. "I know it's not what you want but it's all I've got."

Rory doesn't look at me but puts a hand to mine. "I know and it's okay. But I need to get over you somehow," she says and something in my chest constricts. "If anything, I'm going to end up hurting him."

The two of us laugh at that, mainly because it's so ridiculous that Bryce could ever get hurt by her and it would totally be ironic if he had his heart broken by some girl who wasn't anything like the girls he had ever dated before.

"I'm sure you can find someone better," I tell her. "What about that camp counsellor?" When she winces understanding dawns on me. "There never was a camp counsellor was, there?"

She shakes her head at me and I frown, this is how things started with her too, lying to me about who she was with. "It's not like I'm going to start working at Polished Elite," she tells me.

I crack a smirk and nudge her with my shoulder. "If you do, you're dead to me."

Rory bursts out laughing. "Ha! We're both lifeguards! I'm sure one of us can resuscitate our relationship," she says.

"I don't think I'll put in the effort for that one Rory," I tell her. I reach over and ruffle her hair causing her to shriek.

She pushes my hand away and stands up. As she walks towards the door, she turns back to me. "I've got dinner waiting for you whenever you decide to come back in," she tells me.

I smile at her. "Thanks. We're... we're going to be okay right?" I ask before I can lose the nerve to do so.

She pauses at the door and contemplates my question. "Yeah, I think we will be," and then she vanishes. Maybe things are finally going to be better.