Stay With Me || Jercy AU

IMPORTANT

Hey, to the unfortunate reader reading this.

I have quite a lot to say so I'll try to condense it.

It's now been about a month since my last chapter. I'm going to be honest with you guys. I've written about 2 chapters since then. I honestly have no excuse. I've let you guys down. It's not just with my stories, it's with everything. School, art, music. I've done nothing. 

On top of all that crap, my dad took my phone off me because "I'm spending too much time on my phone" which is pretty stupid considering I'm living in a pandemic, haven't seen any of my friend since in person for almost 3 months and that's the only way I can talk to them but excluding that, it also made it harder to write. I've got a good situation now but it still set me back. 

I had serious writer's block for about half the month. I have no idea why but I just couldn't write. And I've lost my motivation and my usual time for writing- the 40 minute bus journey to my school. 

But I think it's time I stop making excuses. Don't you? I've been lazy and I've neglected everything. Shit- I have my GCSEs in a year and I haven't revised shit. I have so many loyal, amazing, kind, supportive readers who have been with me for so long. And, yes, I am going to be cheesy and fucking  cliche, but I've let you and myself down. I'd make a pledge to change my ways but that's never worked out well in the past.

You know what  the really stupid thing is? I enjoy writing, I enjoy drawing, I enjoy playing piano or (attempting) composing. And I don't really enjoy sitting on my arse and watching the same movie for the 5th time in 2 weeks ( though, in all seriousness, crimson peak is a very good movie and I highly recommend it) 

I know that a vast amount of you have probably given up on me by now. Maybe you're not reading this. Or if you are I've probably pissed you off for long enough- I know that when I read a story, with my eyes glazed over from lack of sleep, I usually just want the story so I am really sorry for all of this.

The sad thing is I only have maybe 5 more chapters. Also, please note that any suggestions you made will most probably go into the 3rd and final book (if you guys want a trilogy). The story is still in hold while I attempt (again) to get my shit together but I am not unpublishing or abandoning this story. 

THE NEXT FEW PARAGRAPHS HAVE THE BURNING MAZE SPOILERS SKIP TO THE NEXT BOLD BIT TO AVOID 

Firstly, I owe it to you guys for reading and supporting me and just being the great people I love. Secondly, I owe it to myself. Seeing the thousands of views that I get is probably one of the things that make me really happy. These books, however badly I think they're written, are the things in this world I ammost proud of. It started as an entertainment  in a very, ah- social holiday I went on (I barely spoke the language too so I was bored at mostly). It was an escape- I could finally accept myself for being gay because my characters were. I could think up new therapies for my friends and work with a bunch of deep stuff (it's not fun being the group therapist xD) but I got to see Jason LIVE, I got to rewrite their stories, bring them to life which leads me into my third point- 

Most of all, I owe it to them.

You know, when I first read Jason's death, I cried myself to sleep. I didn't get the book until after I write the fic but when I read it it fucking broke me. He was never my favourite until I researched his character and adapted him for my story, watching him grow. I felt his joy at first meeting Percy, I felt his fear of his bisexuality ruining his relationship, his sorrow for Percy, his love and kindness. It sounds silly but I felt it all and, as dumb as this sounds, I fell in love with yet another fictional character.  You never find people as decent or kind or courageous as those within books and I guess I never left my fantasy land as a kid. So, when Jason died, he took a little part of me with him. And I see them- my characters. (In the least crazy sounding way possible) they talk to me- they grow. I may have written them but they evolved themselves. Yeah, I owe it to them finish their story above any need I have for myself. 

IT IS SAFE TO READ AGAIN          

I'm honestly not sure who stuck around for all of this but if you did- gold medal to you. I think the next book I write, I'll have 20 pre written chapters just in case nuclear armeggedon or something worse comes along and wreaks havoc. But, on the bright side, I chose to go back to school so (if my parents let me) I'll be back on the bus in a week and a bit.  

I am so, so, so sorry for all of this bullshit. I'm afraid I can't say how long it will be until I publish again but hopefully nit too long now. I know it's nit worth it but I'm not giving up on this- I'd never give up on this. 

Stay safe kids 

Love, I 

Xx