𝙉𝙤 𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙚 𝙙𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙢𝙞𝙣 ✰ 𝙛𝙚𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙨𝙖 𝘼𝙨𝙝𝙡𝙚𝙮 (discontinued)

𝙇𝙞𝙚 𝙖𝙜𝙖𝙞𝙣 😒🤥

(AN: in this chapter there are mentions of depression, suicide, and hospitalization. In regards to triggers the hazard emojis '⚠️⚠️' will be before and after those moments...)

✃ ♥ How am I supposed to be alright?Ever since we split apart, no I'm not doin' fine. And I can't lie, my life's been really hard. It's difficult to see the light when life is feeling dark ♥ ✁

It had been a week since that Saturday. I haven't talked to anyone besides Naomi and rarely kai. Naomi would stay over every Friday till Saturday to make sure I didn't do anything drastic.

I was miserable. I slept the days away, barely eating. I would only get food when my mother decided it was time for me to eat...even then it was barely anything. I felt so bad and obnoxious for being so needy. My mom was obviously worried the incident would occur again. So was I.

This slump I was in was getting out of hand. I sat up slowly so I didn't wake Naomi. I turned on my phone and went to text felissa, but she wasn't happy with me at the moment. Sick and tired of being sick and tired I got up. I showered and changed into the sweatshirt I slept in and yoga pants. I slipped my feet into vans and wrote a note.

"If you need to leave take me car, I have something to do. Love iris." It read. I called an Uber and waited outside.

"Uber for iris?" The man asked. "That's me" I smiled and sat in the back. The ride was silent. I was wrapping my head around what I planned to do. Once we made it the man called my name. "Ms. iris you highly apprehensive. Before you do what ever it is you're doing calm down first. Everything is better with a clear mind." He politely suggested. "Thank you sir" he nodded and drove away.

I continued my way to the door and rung the doorbell. She opened the door. "Iris what are you doing here" devynn asked. "You! Me! Outside now" I ordered. She followed me to the middle of her driveway.

"I'm not doing this with you. I'm not repeated those troubling three and a half years with you. I loved you. I honestly did but you didn't care. You continued to push me aside like I didn't matter. You'd pretend to listen then when I asked you about it you forgot. I won't let myself fall back into you! Devynn you hurt me! I'm permanently damaged because of you! I can never love the same because of you! I'm different now. At least I was." I sighed.

"Ya know I was happy before you came along. I didn't get waves as frequently. That was because the people I surrounded myself with actually loved me. They never pretended to care about the things I had to say! My input was appreciated not ignored. My heart was nurtured instead of broken. Then you came back and took that from me. You took my will to dance from me. You took my only friends away from me. You took the girl who loved me better than you ever could! I won't get those back devynn! It will never be completely the same! I'll have to fight everyday for them! Just because you feel the need to hurt me does NOT give you the right to hurt the ones I love." I raged.

"I'm sorry iris" was all she said.

"I know you're sorry, but I'm not. I'm not sorry that you left me. I'm sorry that I let you come back. I'm so sorry I let you pull the strings on my every move for THREE DAMN YEARS!"

"What do you want me to do iris! I can't make the forgive you! I mean shit, I can't even make you forgive me." She responded.

"I want you to go. I want you to stop playing me like the puppet I was for you. Cut the strings. I want you to forget about me. Focus on you. Stop hurting others for your personal gain. Learn what pain feels like, then maybe you'd stop inflicting it. I'm not a toy you can't pick up and throw away when you're bored. I'm human. I feel things. The things you made me feel were painful. No one deserves that. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. Not even you."