Would You Love Me Less? > Arrow / Flash x Reader

Chapter 24

The time felt right when I decided to talk to Oliver.

His hood and mask were both off, but he still had some grease paint smudged around his eyes from under the mask, which really highlighted just how much of a mess he looked in that moment. He was sitting on the bottom step ledge with his arms folded across his knees, which were resting in front of his chest; I silently sat across from him.

Oliver's blue eyes flicked up to take me in, then refused to remove their focus from me even to blink. I cracked first, "I'm sorry..."

"I don't want to talk about it." Oli huffed, wallowing in self-pity. "No, Oli... but you're going to have to at least listen."

My voice gave him life to his words, "He could have killed you."

"But he didn't." I assured with a smile.

I watched him battle his thoughts to find words. "You just..." Instead, he rubbed his face and sighed- "I don't expect you to understand."

I shrugged, "Okay, then make me understand. You can train me however you want me to fight." His words became very flat, "That's still not the point, but no."

At that point, I desperately wished to change the subject: "Are we going to talk about yesterday? Is that what this is about?"

His pitiful blue eyes gazed softly at me, matching his new tone of voice "No..."

I threw my hands up in defeat. Why is he so damn DIFFICULT?

"Then what, Oliver? What?"

Oliver stood to his feet, then headed over to a case on the table, "Fine. I will train you- but only on one condition..."

I could tell the subject in subject was on purpose, but honestly I was more intrigued in the new topic. "And what condition is that?"

He looked at me square in the face, "No playing hero until I say you are ready... No one else but me."

But I'm already ready, dammit!

I could tell that there would be no negotiation with his offer- not that I necessarily disagreed with his terms anyway. I simply nodded in response, which gave Oliver the go-ahead to open the case. "Cisco had this sent over- said he made it specifically for you, and you can still put it to good use."

I smiled wide when I saw the bow Dr. Wells had custom made for me by Cisco, along with the jacket Cisco made. "Grab your bow- Let's get started."

The outfit really made me feel complete, even with the bow. A huge chunk of my life was spent wearing the assassin's outfit, which I couldn't even talk about anymore- let alone wear it. Having a disguise to cover my identity truly felt like home.

"But, I'm tired." I protested. "Good, now come." He chuckled.

It's nice to hear life in his voice again.

I position myself beside Oli when I reached the training room. The training room there was vastly different than the one at S.T.A.R. Labs- more equipment- a lot more tailored to archery. "You're not going to make me slap water again, are you?"

He laughed lightly, "No, but you are going to be using something other than a bow to improve your close combat."

He led me to a large column with pegs sticking out in various spots. I had seen him use that particular setup before to train, but I was always more interested in watching how his muscles moved, than how he actually did it.

It didn't take long for Oliver to tell me how to do it; lucky for me, I was a fast learner and could keep up with his words. "Okay, Do what I told you to and I will be back in an hour. No breaks." His head tilted when I frowned unwillingly at him. "You're not staying?" I asked. There was no point in pretending I didn't notice he recognized my expression. "I don't want to be a distraction." Oliver explained.

"Honestly, Oli? You would be less of a distraction if you are here with me."

I saw his head tilt again in confusion.

"When you aren't here, I start to think about things- I start to wonder. I ask you questions in my head and eventually I start to shut down. If you're here, I can concentrate. If you are here, I would be too self conscious that you can hear my thoughts, so I won't think about you."

I swallowed my words while staring back at him; 'Did I really just say all of that? Can he actually read my mind? Heh.'

"Or..." Oliver suggested and leaned against one of the beams of the building's structure, "We can just talk about what you want to talk about, and then you can focus on your own."

I thought he was absolutely adorable with his body and head leaned gently against the pillar like that. "You're the one who didn't want to talk in the first place." I huffed.

"Y/N, listen..." His words were distant as I admired how his green suit hit the light as he pushed his weight off of the pillar and slowly paced in front of me. He stopped and stood straight, his hands folded along one another behind his back like he was about to tell me that my dog had died. "I can't be who I am- we can't be who we are with what we do, and still be happy together."

His words were honest that time, which cut through my chest like a knife. "I am sorry that I kissed you yesterday. I am sorry for the moments that followed that one, too. I can't have this suit while also having you."

In attempt to choke down my emotions, I spoke in a whisper, "You already have both... you are just too blind to see it."

Not saying that his 5 years of hell were anything along the lines of something to envy- but I did wish I had the power to say anything with the blank expression that he could. Even in the League, I was never able to hide emotions like I could words.

I spoke once more when he failed to reply, "If what you say is true, then how can you get upset when I find someone else to share my love with? Someone like Barry?"

Hearing me use 'love' and Barry's name come out of my mouth so close together made Oliver twitch uncomfortably. "I... still care for you..."

There was a silent moment before Oliver's voice filled the air to cover tension, "I will be back in an hour."

I watched him walk towards the exit. 'Should I say something?

I'm going to say something.'

"How about you come back when you figure out how to tell me the truth?"