STORY OF THE CHUBBY

STORY OF THE CHUBBY 22

'I choose to love you in silence, because in silence i find no rejection, and in silence no one owns you but me.' -Anon

How could a heart like yours, ever love a heart like mine...-Willamette Stone

I looked into his hazel eyes, not believing he was this close to me...not believing what he had just told me a minute ago.

‘I like you, Cecelia! I thought you couldn’t possibly like me back.’

I could feel his breath, hot on my face; I could smell his cologne more distinctly because of how close he stood in front of me. I was paralysed, couldn’t move...didn’t want to move.

‘Cecelia...’ he whispered my name, like a prayer. His eyes flickered down to my lips then back to my eyes.

 ‘I want to kiss you,’ he said, tucking a strand of my hair behind my ear, his fingers trailing from my ear down to my cheek, making my heartbeat quicken, my breath shallow.

In my mind I was screaming ‘Yes!’ because it was only him I’d want to have my first kiss to be with. Instead I just nod quickly, already wanting to feel his lips on mine. I look up at his eyes because I realize I’d been staring at his lips.

Green.

Why are his eyes green? I step back shocked and I get more shocked to see Ash. Wha-?

I hear laughter behind me and I see Chris laughing, his arm around his girlfriend who’s name seemed to have escaped my mind at the moment.

‘You thought I would actually ever like you?’ He looked...cruel. I turned back to look at Ash but he was nowhere to be seen. Suddenly I was in freshman year again...people were taunting me and calling me all kinds of cruel names in the hallways...

‘Get out of here, Fattie!’

‘You don’t belong here!’

‘Fattie Chubby...’

‘No one will ever love you...’

I was backed into a corner by the crowd...I felt like suffocating, I couldn’t get enough air into my lungs!

I woke up with a start. My breathing heavy, my hair plastered to my forehead by the sweat on my forehead. I looked around the room, trying to find my bearings. I was in my room...in my bed...not in school...not with Chris or Ash.

Damn! I thought running my fingers through my hair pushing it away from my face. It was a dream...just a dream. I got control of my breathing and walked to my bathroom.

It felt so real, I thought looking at myself at the mirror after I’d switched on the lights. Everything... How the hell could I smell Chris in my dream?

I washed my face and patted it with a towel before heading back to my room. My alarm clock read 3.07 am. I don’t think I could go back to sleep. I wasn’t sure why the dream even spooked me so much.

I sat on my bed and looked through the window. There was a full moon tonight and the light was filtering into my room, so it wasn’t so dark. I pulled my knees to my chest and laid my head on my knees and thought of how it was after I had kinda confessed how I felt about Chris not knowing he was 3 feet away.

I guess I should be glad he didn’t get an opportunity to talk to me about it because not long after he’d come into the house, his mum had called him home and he had to leave.

‘We have to talk, Cecelia,’ he said, looking at me, his expression serious.

‘There’s nothing to talk about, Chris,’ I replied, trying to give him my best smile.