when he finds out you're anorexic | k.nj | oneshot

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WARNING (please read)

This imagine contains some sensitive topics that could upset some people. If you have delt with issues like this yourself and believe that you will get upset then I suggest that you keep scrolling. If someone you know is dealing with issues like this themselves then try and help them through those issues the best you can and DON'T force them to talk to people or get help from people that they aren't ready to talk to/get help from. (I haven't delt with these issues myself but I've done lots of research on what this disorder is really like, please feel free to correct anything that's incorrect in the comments)
Beat is an organisation that help people with their eating disorders. If you or anyone you know wants to help then I highly recommend this website.(It helped my friend greatly.)
They also have a helpline(08456341414) and a youthline(08456347650) where you can contact them.

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Y/n's POV

You had been diagnosed as anorexic around two years ago and had been going through the recovery process again lately. You had gone through it time and time again, trying the best you could each and every time. Nothing seemed to stick though, the urge to carry out your daily routines was too overwhelming. See, most people you knew thought it was all just about body image, that you hated the way you looked, which it was partially.

You had been in a lot of controlling relationships and the one thing they could never control was what you ate. They would tell you things from how to dress to how to talk. You thought that that was what caused all of this in a way. When you got out of the habit of dating those people you started to form routines that really stuck with you, because it was one of the first times you had ever had freedom. It got to the point where all of the routines had almost become a part of who you were, like your identity. It was at that point that you knew you needed to see a medical professional.

You had noticed lately that you had begun to slip back into your routines. You tried all of the coping mechanisms you'd learnt and none of them had been helping you. Recently, you had moved up to Seoul, so you didn't have much contact with any of you friends. Normally, they would help you through these times but they were busy and you didn't want to bother them. The closest friend you had here was Namjoon. He was so friendly and kind to you when you moved here and he had helped you alot with getting to know the area and all. You knew you'd have to tell someone here about it at some point and you thought you trusted him enough to tell him, so you called him up and asked him to come over.

Time Skip

"Okay, so I've been struggling with something lately and normally I have loads of friends around me to help me with it but I've moved here and I don't really have anyone anymore. I think I trust you enough to tell you though..."

"You sure you wanna tell me?" He asked, "Of course I want to help you with any problems you're having but if you're not ready to then please don't feel like you have to."

"No." You smiled at him, "I want to tell you. I know you won't treat me differently for it and I trust you a lot."

"Okay then, what is it you want to tell me?"

"I, uh, I'm anorexic. I have been for about two years now. I've been... 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘨𝘨𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 to keep on track lately. I always find it helps when I have someone close to me to just guide me slightly in the right direction, without completely forcing me. And to be able to talk to someone about what's going on and why I think I'm relapsing... and... yeah..." You trailed off.

"Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me that. I know that must have been hard for you to tell me. I promise I'll help you the best I can and I'm always here if you need to talk. So, where do you want me to start?"

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