The It Factor

Chapter 12

I gave Kyle a weak smile, setting the guitar down on the floor.  My usual anxiety was starting to set in; shaky hands, racing heart, a head that felt like it was explode, and I was starting to get dizzy.  Breathe, Serenity!  You need oxygen!

Sensing my worry, Kyle reached out and grabbed my hands, "You're really amazing, Serenity.  I don't know why you wont sing for people."  He whispered gently.  I looked at the floor, trying not to look at him.  That's what they all say. "I'm serious."

"Everyone can be nice when they want too," I muttered, pulling my hands out of his.  Why did I sing again?  Oh yeah, because I'm stupid, as I have most certainly showed the past few days.

"You're not stupid,"  Kyle sighed.  Crap!  Had I said that out loud?!  "You're so, so talented."  He grabbed my chin, forcing me to look at him.

Why was he so damn sweet?!

"Thank you,"  I managed to whisper.  My emotions were going crazy.  I was still having my mini panic attack, and at the same time I had butterflies in my stomach from his words.  Kyle smiled, brushing my hair out of my face.

Kyle coughed, dropping his hands from my face and scooting away.  What the heck?  Had I done something wrong?  I felt a pang in my chest, but I ignored it. 

"You should sing for the guys." He shrugged, trying to make it seem like no big deal.  My eyes almost popped out of their sockets.

"Oh no, no, no." I laughed, shaking my head. "I don't sing for people." 

"Why?"  He asked, "You sing so well..."

"I just don't, okay?!"  I snapped.  Kyle fell back in his seat, letting his head hang just a bit.  A pang of guilt washed over me, why had I yelled?  Sometimes I can be so stupid!  "Hey, I didn't mean to yell..." I whispered, reaching out and grabbing his upper arm.

"I just don't understand it," He muttered, looking up at me with a confused face, "You are really good, has anyone ever told you otherwise?"  Slowly, I nodded.  He would have to find out at some point, why wasn't now a good time?  I needed to suck it up and tell him. "Who could be so stupid?!"

"Oh please," I scoffed, sticking up my nose, deciding I shouldn't tell him.  It wouldn't make a difference. "I'm not even good, of course people can say that."

"Are you not hearing a work I say?!" Kyle yelled, tugging at his hair with frustration.  I flinched slightly.  I was hearing him, but I just couldn't believe what he was saying.  For some reason my brain just rejected the information.

"Because it's bullshit," I retorted, crossing my arms in defiance.  For so many years of my life I had dwelt over the past and the fact I was a bad singer.  After a while, it's just engraved in your brain, and it takes a lot for it to be undone.  The damage was not going to be fixed by a few kind words and a smile.

"Oh my God," Kyle sighed, picking up his guitar again. "Look, I'll leave you alone about this if you just sing one song with me, okay?"  I looked at him suspiciously, raising an eyebrow.  Did he really think I would? "Please?"  He asked, giving me the puppy dog look.  Oh my freaking God, those eyes!

"Fine," I sighed, my gut already twisting.  This was not going to be good. "What song?"

"Just a Kiss by Lady Antebellum," Kyle deadpanned, pulling out his phone, "One second."  Um, okay?  Why would he pick that song?  I mean, I knew it was a duet and all, but, you know what, never mind.  I won't even question it.  "Ready?"  I nodded, clinching my hands into fists.  Come on Serenity, you can make it through one song.

Slowly, he started to play the song, and I closed my eyes, trying to let myself get lost in the soft guitar chords.

Lyin' here with you so close to me,
It's hard to fight these feelings when it feels so hard to breathe,
Caught up in this moment, I'm caught up in your smile.