The BadAss Mate

28: What About Me?

28: What About Me?

Kareline Brooks' Point of View (She's Lena, remember now?)

"What? I didn't do anything wrong. Why should I be the one who fix it." I snapped, "Don't you remember he doesn't care or even love me. I mean, he did all this for a bet and who knows, maybe he's pretending that he cares for me because of a bet again." I crossed my arms, glaring at the person before me, "Why the hell do you want me to apologize? Especially when I only killed those mutts and bitches because it is my first mission as a Moon Goddess. As Kareline Brooks." 

"Both of you are acting so immature. There should be at least one of you to be mature with your relationship, and Lena- Kareline." Lucas corrected when he saw my look, "No matter how much he made a mistake, you should know how to forgive. We might be half humans, but we're still a person. We make mistakes and we should learn from it. I know, Conan did not apologize for his actions, but he didn't have time, didn't he?" 

"He had three days to apologize before the war started." I scoffed.

"You two have to grow up." Lucas said, shaking his head.

"You weren't the one who got played. So, I'm sorry if I have trust issues and I'm so damn sorry that I can't apologize to him when in the beginning, it was all his fault."  I said, trying to keep all emotions inside me, “I need to go.” With that said, I walked away, shifting to my wolf and running deeper into the woods. 

I didn’t want to cry in front of Lucas. That’ll be humiliating and I don’t want to cry over him again. But, I guess that won’t be easy. Why did I have to have the most crappy mate ever? Why did I have to get hurt? Why did we have to love someone but only to get hurt in the end? Why did life have to be so cruel? 

My feet pushed me to run faster and stopped once I reached the deep end of the woods. The place was dark and all the trees were compressed, making the place looked so small. The place didn’t have a space, but I knew I could stay here for a while just to think. I shifted into my human form. It was a huge relief to me that I know how to shift with my clothes still on. 

I sat down on the dirty ground and looked up at the leaves of the tree that covered the bright blue sky. I felt a water drip down my cheek, making it trail down to my jaw. Conan. Conan. Conan. He’s the only problem I have left. I killed all of the enemies, I returned the locket to my mom, I’m named as a Moon Goddess and today is my birthday. I’m eighteen. Legal age. So, that’s why the Goddess shifted her job to mine. But, damn. Being a goddess is really cool. I have powers, I can fly, I can command anyone and I have everyone to respect me.

What should I do with Conan, though? 

I sighed, resting my head on my knees as I hugged them to my chest. My hand touched my neck unconsciously. The mark. The mark he gave me cancelled my rejection. If he didn’t mark me through my heat then our connection would’ve been broken. That would’ve been the last chance for us to save our connection and he did save it. Even though he didn’t accept the rejection, he wouldn’t have had a choice. Why does having a mate mess your life up? 

I’m so mad at Lucas right now. I visited him after the incident at the warehouse and told him everything that had happened. I expected him to side with me and comfort me and tell me that Conan was being stupid. But noooo. Instead, he told me to apologize to Conan. After everything Conan did to me, why should I be the one to apologize to him?

He’s our mate, Lena. D’neah replied inside my head, And before you even correct me and say that your name is Kareline Brooks. Then shut up and listen to me first. I know our mate has been so immature for not apologizing or even trying to fix the relationship back, but I think you and I both know that Conan is not a romantic guy. He might’ve never shown you that he’s trying but he is. He marked us, didn’t he? He didn’t make a very huge fight with you when he found out about Lucas because he knows you’ll get mad at him for being mad at Lucas, when Lucas didn’t even do anything about the connection between you two. Anyway, Lena he’s being mature, but just didn’t want anyone to see it. Maybe because it’ll ruin he’s tough guy rep and all that. If you really love him, you’ll put on a big girl panties and say sorry to him. You did make a mistake too, didn’t you? D’neah said.

What did I do wrong? That I rejected him? That I got hurt from what he did? All I wanted was for him to love me back, but why can’t I have that? Now, everybody thinks I’m at fault.

He may not have apologized to you, but he showed you. He saved you when we were kidnapped by Chris. He came when you and Kyla were fighting. He tried to protect you from the war and I’m sure you didn’t notice that. He tried to stop you from killing someone because he didn’t want you to have dirty hands. He was always there, Lena. And it’s obvious that he cares for you. For us. 

I gritted my teeth, wiping away a tear furiously. No one tries to think about my situation. No one knows how I feel. I loved him so much but he only crushed my heart when he announced in front of the whole school that everything was a bet. Why are they all about Conan? What about me? Why is no one thinking about me? How about me? What about me? I’m here, crying my eyes out and no one even worries about me. What about me? 

Go away, D’neah. I don’t need you. I spat, You won’t change my mind, just please leave me be. 

My hands gripped the soil below me as a scream ripped out of my lungs. Screaming all my frustration out seemed to be the best choice for now. I panted and my head fell down, I stared blankly at my jeans. I let the tears flow down my cheeks. Finally, I was letting my emotions out, I’m tired. So tired. I didn’t want to go back with all these people congratulating that I’m the Moon Goddess. Mostly, I didn’t want to go back because I didn’t want to face my problems again. I didn’t want to face Conan. I didn’t want to face anyone, to be exact. I didn’t want them saying to apologize to Conan and that it’s all my fault. 

How is it my fault? Was it Conan that was played? Was it Conan who got hurt? Was it Conan the one who almost lost his wolf? Was it Conan who got stabbed in the stomach? Was it Conan who was insecure because his mate played him? Was it him? Was it all him? No. It was me. I was the one who got hurt. Not him. He doesn’t deserve my sorry. Maybe I would apologize for my actions when we were at the warehouse, but that’s all. Nothing more. 

I got up from my position and wiped the tear streaks on my face. I have no time for this anymore. I’ve been here for a long time and I need to go back before anyone starts to look for me. I shifted into my wolf and started running back to the pack house.

What about me?

What about you? D’neah scoffed, Stop thinking about yourself.

What about me? 

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I would've posted this 5 days ago but we didn't have internet for two days and I was gone for 3 days because we went to an island and there is noooooo internet, signal or anythiiiiiing. Just some sand and the ocean. :) Oooh, and there's boaaatssss :) Ooooh, and a.. What do you call them? Some store but, not like the mall thingy store a simple store built with woooods. I guess.

Since I love you guys.. I posted this as SOON as I got HOME! :D Which is.. 12:46AM xD

-Ellexx