How To Love✓

16.

Amara

We ended up heading back into the city after our night together and he suggested we get dinner before we head back. I wasn't shy or frustrated or irritated, I was myself for a change and if being around him makes me feel open and expressive, I want to be around him more often. Even though he makes me laugh and cry and scream, he makes me feel alive.

He pulls up in front of an old brick building which says POP'S 24 HOUR DINE AND CUISINE on the billboard sign just over the door. We take our seats in the seemingly deserted place and decide on what to eat.

"Are you comfortable? Should I order you some water?" Lucien asks worriedly and I smile. "You don't have to make me a burden. I'll live. I'm okay."

He grabs ahold of my hands in his tattooed ones and I compare the two. His are large whilst mines are tiny, yet they mold perfectly together. He gives them both a kiss and I swoon at the gesture, the wide smile never leaving my face.

"You're never a burden. You're more of a savior to me," he says and looks me in the eye. I felt the words touch my soul.

"I'm nothing less than a person who saves other people. Look at me, I can't even save myself. I'm so desperate in finding someone who understands my struggles that I can't even understand myself."

"Pain demands to be felt. It is the ultimate superhero: backs down to no one, overcomes every obstacle. All the disruptors and inflamed antagonists that line up, pain barrels through them all, refusing to go unheard, bringing justice and peace wherever needed," was his reply and I fear that he may be accurate.

A girl about our age came and took our orders, taking the menus with her. After about 5 minutes she comes back with Lucien's meatball sub and diet coke and my cheeseburger and orange juice. "Good yeah?" he says, meatball sauce dripping at the corners of his mouth.

I giggle and leaned over the table, taking my pinky to wipe it off and unto the napkin. "You're a pig," I joke and take another bite out of my delicious cheeseburger.

"Thank you princess."

There goes that somersault in my stomach again.

We soon clear our plates, paid for our food and headed down the now vacant roads that lead to the campus. I lean back into the comfy seat and sigh deeply, allowing the cold breeze on the outside to give me a whiplash across the face. I wrap my arms around my body and cross my legs.

"This is so relaxing," I mumble and stare out the window, the street lamps created a vision into the young night.

"So tell me about your cancer," I hear him say and turns the volume down on the radio.

"Um I was 4 when they found it," I started and he glances over to me once in a while.

"Pretty much a worst case scenario. First started as thyroid then went straight to adenocarcinoma. Not much they could've done but that didn't stop them. Surgery, radiation, chemotherapy. All of which worked for a while, until the day my left lung was punctured and started filling up with lots and lots of water in the ICU. My mom, Hera and my stepdad, Luke, called a nurse while I sat down out of breath. They attached an oxygen mask to my face and the nebulizer instantly made me fall asleep. My mom kept whispering to me thinking that I was asleep, but I pretty much heard her soft cries and Luke's comforting words. That should've been the end. Then all of a sudden......I was.......normal. The vitamins and prescriptions kicked in and I was a healthy adolescent. Of course my lungs still suck at being lungs but I never let them stop me from doing everything that I could've to enjoy every moment of life," I explain and the last part made him smile.

"Have you ever thought about going to a support group?" he asks and I shake my head no. "My doctor suggested one right next to the boutique on 5th Avenue but it's not my thing."

"Support groups can be a great way to connect with people who shares similar ailments," he says and I eye him in disbelief.

"You're awfully interested about my health."

He shrugs. "You don't deserve to go through this alone princess."

Upon reaching safely back into the campus, we sneak to my dorm as boys after 8 is a problem on the girl's block and we stand in front of the door. He hands me my journal and pencil case and I thank him. "I would tuck you in bed but I'm not up for 21 questions with Syl this hour," he smiles and I nod.

"It's fine. I had a really awesome time with you tonight Lucien," I hum.

"Me too princess," he replies and tucks the loose strand of my hair behind my ear.

I'm relieved that he couldn't see my flushed cheeks under the lamp. "I really want to kiss you but I don't want you to think that I'm using you or something like that," he says, his features twist with pain and sadness.

"I know you would never hurt me Lucien," I stare into his now soft eyes and lean my face in closer to his. He closes the small gap between us and places a simple but lingering kiss to my lips.

Dry but kept me yearning for more.

"Goodnight princess," he kisses my forehead and walks away backwards. "Goodnight," I say and waltz into the room. Locking it behind me, I flop unto the bed and dragged the tank to lean against the bed foot. I kicked off my sandals and pulled the duvet over my head, closing my eyes with a wide grin on my face.

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