How To Love✓

42.

Amara

The car ride was really silent as neither of us knew what to say or who should speak first. I twiddle my fingers that were covered in knitted gloves and eye the passing cars outside.

I always wonder if fantasy and reality were similar.

These past few months proposed quite differently.

I realised now that it's better to not live life full of unrealistic expectations and accept that it is imperfect, often predictable, filled with grief, sadness, some things are out of our control but reality is always better because it's the truth.

And that's what we get wrong, when we avoid the truth. But sometimes living with the truth is better than living based on imagination.

We make reality seem as if it is something that is bad, or frightening. But, if you look on the bright side, you will realise that it's beautiful.

The past Amara would think it was too impossible to have change in her life but the present Amara definitely proved her wrong. I found that power, not only through myself, but through another.

Lucien and I both have our strengths, our weaknesses, our quirks and our flaws. Rub them all together and they cause a friction.

But its our differences that binds us together.

Through mid daydream, I felt a heavy object on my leg. I look down and saw that Lucien placed a hand there. When I met his gaze, it's like his eyes were filled with so much emotions, all mixed. But I didn't tell him to move his hand nor did I move it. I left it there, my skin tingling under the thick pants that hugged my leg.

We both knew I craved his touch. I missed him, more than anything in the world. I was just too insecure right now to confess.

We drove around for an hour before reaching our destination. The place our first date took place at. My favourite place to be.

The Golden State park.

Lucien turns off the engine and places the keys into his coat pocket. As I go to reach for the door handle to get out, he stops me, making me eye him curiously.

"Let me get it for you," he offers, leaving me to stare at him in awe. Even through our ups and downs, he was still the perfect gentleman. You may call it "the bare minimum" but the small things, the little gestures, they just get to me all the time.

I thanked him quietly as he helps me out of the car gently. We walked side by side into the chilly atmosphere, neither of us speaking, just already being entertained by each other's presence. He absentmindedly interlocks our hands together, bringing them up to his lips to place a soft, yet subtle kiss to my clothed hand. I swoon at the action and blush a little. I found myself staring up at him as we casually walked down the bridge to our favourite spot.

"Why are you so keen of me Ms. Belle?" he acquires, pursing his lips.

"I am so keen on you Mr. King, for the fact that I am heavily inspired by you. I admire you and I deeply care for you. A life without you would always have a blank space and you just... fill my life with colours that I never knew existed," I answer truthfully.

He chuckles. "You're too good for me."

"What-Where is all this coming from?" I ponder, moving a strand of hair from my face and tucked it behind my ear.

He pulls us away from walking and to the spot on the grass where we usually sit. It's like we marked it somehow. He notices my shudders and suggests that we sit closely together so he can keep me warm. I position the oxygen tank right next to us and lean into him as he wraps his arms around me, snuggling me into him. I hear him exhale at the contact of our bodies.