The Love I Never Gave-Maylor

Attempts

I turned around to face Brian's direction. He stood silent, speechless about what had happened. He turned away, getting lost in his thoughts. Meanwhile, I went into "my room," ready to put clothes on, but to also spend time with myself, away from everyone. Life with him drained me of all my energy, alone time was the way of recharging myself.

Freddie's POV

Visiting Brian and Roger opened up more questions than I originally had. More secrets were unleashed and I couldn't comprehend them all, there were too many unsolved. I knew nothing about them anyway, anything I did know about them didn't matter anymore, they changed. I knew everything that happened at Brian's house was fake. His kindness, care, and love for Roger, fake. Only two things were real, Roger's fear and suffering and Brian's hurtful nature. John and I went over in hopes of figuring out what was really going on without making it too obvious. Unfortunately, John almost blew up our cover, but I managed to salvage it before he caught onto our plan. If he knew what we were doing, Roger could've been blamed and I didn't want to know what would happen next, especially to him. His mental health confused me. I couldn't wrap my mind around it. He showed so many signs, both positive and negative, I didn't know what to believe anymore. A horrible gut feeling churned up inside me, telling me the direction he was headed in was a destructive route. My trust was destroyed by the fact that they tried to hide it from me. I had to be careful now, my assumptions were wrong almost every time. I couldn't even believe myself anymore.

Roger's POV

I took my bathrobe and slowly untied the straps in front of me, fabric dangling into the air. All my focus was put into this and tried not to focus it on anything else that would point to Brian. I was nearly done when pressure around my waist increased and tightness closed in, wrapping around me. A heavy weight attached to my shoulder and a presence could be felt behind me. Brian. My body twitched, jumping for a split second and then I froze in place, not daring to move. Anything I did would set him off. Hot breath brushed up against my face, tickling me to the touch and a secretive voice, raspy and breathful spoke.

"Wanna please me?"

Please him? I couldn't do that to him. I spoke as soft as my voice would go, trying to be submissive to his demands.

"Please, let me go..."

I squirmed around in his grip, attempting to push him away but he tightened his wrath around me, not leaving area for breathing and the warmth of his body increasing. Cold sweat covered my trembling body and heart pounded, speed up every second. The sound of the door closing rang in my ears, echoing. Tingling in my lower area grew stronger. No, don't look. Twitchiness took over me, trying to look at what was happening but at the same time, not doing so. The warmth of Brian's hand came into contact with my skin as the elastic waistband of the pants I wore raised inch by inch. Presence of a hand dug into my pants, but on a deeper level, going into my undergarments. Rough fingertips glided up and down my body, continuing down and down, tingling against my skin. No!

"No! Stop!" I screamed.

My arms exploded out of his grip, breaking his wrath around me. I turned towards him and shoved him away from me as far as I could with all the force I had left. He fell backward, losing his balance between steps, but regained control and his face...Face transformed into a monster, something only out of nightmares. Eyes filled with rage, staring directly at me and his whole face creased more than ever before, biting his lip and nibbling on it. His nose all wrinkled in distaste in my actions. I threw my arms in front of me out of the instinct of him continuing to attack and immense pressure pulled into my wrists, Brian's hand crushing them. A yanking sensation nearly pulling my arm out of its socket threw me against him and he restrained me, pinching my skin with his nails and not intending to let go anytime soon. I tried everything I could, screaming out of my mind, shrieks ripping through my throat, kicking him, squirming under his grip, nothing worked. He dragged me against the room and threw me face-first onto the bed, crashing onto it. Weight crushed me on all sides, arms came over my head and grabbed ahold of my wrists, pinning them down to the bed, squeezing them out of circulation, turning clammy and cold. He held my arms down with one hand, the other one going elsewhere. The pants around my waist raised up again and were being pulled down by Brian, picking at them and slapping me in the bum whenever I got defensive. The burn, everything lingered in my body. Throat ached from screaming so much, shredding the only voice I was able to bring out.

"Brian, stop, please! Help!"

I tore my arms out from his grip and whipped around, punching him in the face, banging against the bones in my hand. Brian let go completely and grasped his face out of agony. I took the chance and fell off the bed onto the ground, struggling to get up. Weakness overtook me, knees wobbling and body shaking trying to stand. The second I gained control I bolted straight for the door, not thinking about anything else only freedom. Nearly there! Do it, you can do it! Heavy steps followed me before I crashed right back onto the ground, stomach first. Weight came upon me and a hand pinned my waist down to the floor, which meant I was stuck. Clinking of belt chains reached my ears. He unbuckled his belt. Oh no... My body was turned around, swaying all over the place when his hand came off of me. Sprinting forward, I ran into the corner of the room, curling up into the fetal position. I couldn't take it anymore, why was this happening? What did I do to deserve this? Brian came directly as me but no, I had to stop him. Arm swung at him, pushing him out of the way.

"Stop! Please!"

All silence. I looked at him with wide eyes, he stood still, not moving and I turned away, hiding my face into my body, not wanting to see more of this.

"Fuck you, you worthless piece of shit! You might've gotten out of this one, but it's not over yet!"

Stomps traveled across the floor, shaking the ground and soon faded away. Tears pounded against my head, but I wasn't ready to unleash them. Once they were spilling out, I blinked profusely, trying to make them stop. Lips became chewed up so much biting of them. Hands grasped one another, rubbing together, focusing on anything other than what happened. It became harder to hold back the more time passed on. Tears throbbing hard, desperate to be let out. Body tensed up, locking everything in place. At last, everything I've been holding in spilled out of me, tears gushing out of my eyes without stopping, drenching the cheeks below them. Body shook violently, bashing and hitting the wall next to me. Breaths became unstable and quavery, coming out shaky and weak with every one I took. Thud. Brian. Footsteps echoed in my ear as my crying died down, soft sobs and whimpers coming out. They stopped. Was he in front of me? Floor shook with every step he had taken but were interrupted at the sudden stop in rhythm. Head angled up but still not looking at whatever could be in sight. Unsure of the situation, I opened my eyes, through strands of hair covering what was my face and I peeped up at Brian, standing directly above me, looking at my shattered self. Heart skipped a beat at the sight and stopped when involuntary feeble sobs escaped me and body went back to shaking as before and face went into hiding again. Would he ever go away? Please, just go away already... If he was here for something, he could take it, I wanted to be alone, all by myself, not to be hurt again. Thud. Thud. Steps faded away and out of hearing range. Heart ached as chills spread throughout me and more tears filled my eyes, trickling down my face. Why was this happening to me?