Metanoia: A Change of Heart

Chapter VI ~ Joshua

Each day, I got new popsicles. Seems a little weird that whoever made them produced more and more. Although that haunted me, it didn't bother so much anymore, rather, it was something I looked forward to, something that kept me going everyday. The quotes seemed relevant to my days, I felt like they were written just for me, especially those with the initial and sticker, the others without the insignia seemed normal and ordinary quotes that was picked from the internet.

Monday.

Tuesday.

Wednesday.

Thursday.

Days went on just like before. Random laughter, killer homework, boring lessons, etcetera.

On the way to my Literature class, I saw Gabe and Stephen.

"Joshua," Stephen rested an arm around my shoulder and I shook it. Unlike Gabe, who was left in the kitchen, Stephen was thin and muscular. I played tennis with him often every Friday, part of our club practice.

"Why didn't you attend the training last Friday?" he asked.

"I wasn't well." Weak alibi, in reality, my friends and I searched for the book After Darkness.

Stephen rolled his eyes. "You just had a date, don't you?"

"I had a headache."

Gabe chimed in. "He won't date anyone because he likes Nikki."

"Nikki?" Stephen asked. "You mean Nicole?"

"Yeah," Gabe said, like I wasn't around. "Unfortunately, our friend here seemed a little late with news."

"News?" I asked.

Stephen slapped Gabe with his free hand. "Huh, rumors. Don't mind them. We can help you if you want."

"I appreciate your help, but Nicole--Nikki--isn't my..." Crush? Type? Lover? I left it blank. "I'm not into those things yet."

Stephen smirked. "Don't play Mister Virgin, here bro."

Gabe opened the door for us. "Anyway, let's change the topic. This afternoon will be the meeting of the club. Mrs.Tobi and the rest of the members are happy to have you there."

"I really don't know what to do." I admitted.

"That's why we'll have seminars." Stephen explained some rules of the club. "Be on time, work hard, agree on what the moderator says. That's all."

"Alright," I said.

"Don't let Mrs.Tobi down. Rick Raymond, our batch's overall highest in the honor roll, was a member before but he failed to submit an article that caused the delay of the printing. That's why she hated him since then, at least that's what the circulating story is about."

"Hated? How much?"

Gabe leveled his hands. "Not that much-much but enough to be annoyed. Thankfully we had a new English teacher this year, or else he would suffer. You might have a chance to be the highest in our graduation." Ugh, graduation. I didn't want to leave highschool yet. So many things I would miss. Little things that worth so much. And college: Jeez, I wasn't ready.

We sat on one row at the back. "By the way, Steph, you'll take Lit with us?"

Stephen grinned. "Yeah, bro. My previous class kills me, so boring and dead."

"I never knew you can change classes unless there are serious problems."

"My father talked to the principal." Stephen winked.

The teacher taught us about the love story of Romeo and Juliet. Never ending. Repeating. I was getting tired of it.

Was it love? Or stupidity? I knew I couldn't comment more about love, and I was forcing myself to believe in it, but I would not be able to do it unless I experience the "never ending true love" at some point of my life time.

"What is love, class?" Mister Tara asked. Hands raised, but I didn't want to recite what was love for me. I would have trouble explaining and they would have trouble interpreting.

"Yes, Miss Buenviaje." She pointed to a girl with dirty blonde hair that almost reached her waist. She sat on a seat a couple of rows infront of me. "For me, Sir, love is the real essence of this world. Love is a thing everyone should possess, I couldn't imagine a world without it."

I begged to disagree, in an impulse, I raised my hand.

"Anything to add, Mister Silva?"

"Yes, uhm," I stood. "Sorry but you may be mistaken. Love is no more than series of chemical reactions in the brain. Something our hormones excrete."

"Excuse me, but what do you think is the reason why people were together despite everything? Was that still because of your hormonal explanation? Was that only because of sexual desire?" The girl was now standing. I remember her from middle school and a few classes now, her name was Thonia. Thonia Buenviaje.

"That wasn't what I meant. I guess they were together because..." I collected my thoughts. "Because they chose to stay together. They wanted to be together. They benefit with each other. In Science you call it mutualism, but the aspect of life is different from what some people explained it to be." I could see people looking at me from my peripheral vision because I focus a stare at her.

"I guess you don't have a heart. Maybe you belonged to somewhere else. Another town? Another country?" She paused and crossed her arms. "Another planet maybe?" The class laughed.

"Oh, I knew very well I have one. Pumping blood in my body. That's what the function of heart is, right? Because the chemicals in the brain do the thing you called love."

She smirked. "Mister teenage masterpiece, life is always more to it than Science, you know."

"Okay, students, Buenviaje, Silva, please take a sit and we will move on to the next topic." The teacher awkwardly diverted the topic. Eventually, the tension seemed to evaporate.

Thonia turned to my direction and rolled her eyes. I could feel my face flushed.