Metanoia: A Change of Heart

Chapter XXXXXII ~ Thonia

I don't know how long since I'd been here in the rooftop. Weeks? Months? But I was sure not recently.

It had changed a lot. I remembered the time Josh told me about the plan of the Student council about restoring the deserted hanging garden in our building roof top just like before, I thought it would remain merely drawings and paperwork since the school year was about to end just like most promises from politicians, but not this time. They became successful in bringing back the sky garden.

Before I even reached the landing of the rooftop, the leafy fresh smell conquered my senses. Then I quickly filled the remaining gaps despite the irritating pain on my chest. "Wow," I had to tell myself.

It was like I went to a different beautiful garden or a secret annex, but nothing similar to the rooftop I had known of. Flowers, leaves, and vines filled the maze-like wire walls that reached up to my waist. Rose petals and dry leaves lined the pavements on the way to the center where the old stone bench was located as I remembered; now it had four other stone benches accompanying its four directions—north, south, east and west. Four stone benches facing the original one.

I walked closer and saw Josh sitting on the middle bench. He stood and waved. "Hi."

I wanted to hug and kiss him, but I was frozen on my feet. "Tell me there's some magical portal that led me somewhere this beautiful."

Josh chuckled and walked closer. "No, Thonia, I'm just here. We're really on the rooftop."

"How—? How did you do this?"

"Magic," he said and winked.

I slapped his chest and hugged him. "No PDA on school grounds, Mister?"

I felt the vibration of his chest while laughing. "Yeah, we might keep a little distance." I pulled back and he gestured at the newly installed CCTV camera above the door of the shed where I entered (or out, I meant).

"Did you like it?" He gestured, around.

"Yes, definitely!" I said. "It's sad that we'll be left with few days to appreciate this."

"I talked to the principal and she said we can visit anytime."

"That's great." I grinned, hiding the awful truth. "By the way, about this surprise..." I shook my head. "You should have told me."

"What? Then it wouldn't be a surprise anymore."

"But you know why," I removed my gaze at him.

Josh reached my hand and led me to the center of the garden where the old bench was. There was a paper bag sitting next to us. "I'm sorry for not telling you about our surprise." He apologized sarcastically. "Yes, I also apologize because I did not mean the first apology." He then faced me with a serious face and held both of my hands. "I'm not in the right place to say you should stop mourning about the loss of your father because honestly, I haven't experienced losing someone I loved the most yet, but I'm sure of something: It's time to start all over again. Based on what you've told me, I believe he loves you so much and if he could, he would go here himself and tell you to be happy today and the next year and the year after that. It was a lost but you don't need to lose everything because you lost someone. He loves you. He'll understand that your love for him won't diminish while being happy today. I'm sure that's what he wants; for you to be happy."

I closed my eyes and breathed. I thought Josh was right. Maybe I had enough mourning about that day and I should start celebrating.

He shuffled through the paper bag and he revealed inflated balloons and helium air pump. I almost flinched while he handed a purple balloon to me. "We all have fears. They're signs of being human, of being alive. After we graduate, I won't be seeing you everyday though I'll try to see you often. We'll talk about our meeting schedules some other time." He smiled. "Once we step in a new chapter of our lives, I want you to have fewer fears as possible. I'll be with you, we'll face them together."