↬ my moon ↫ WOOCHAN

╰☆☆ Oᖴ ᔕᒪEEᑭOᐯEᖇᔕ ᗩᑎᗪ ᔕEᑌᑎGᒍIᑎ ☆☆╮

he's not just tired, he's exhausted.
it feels like his body is being weighed down by tons of bricks.
why can't he just sleep?

*☆*――*☆*――*☆*――*☆*――*☆*――*☆*――*☆*――*☆*

chan bravely gathered his blanket and plushies together in his arms as he readied himself to enter.

he looked up as the sun was starting to fade and rapped the door gently with his knuckles. he had walked here, as he did everywhere and his arms were tired from carrying his pyjamas, clothes for tomorrow, blankets and plushies.

as mrs. yang opened the door and welcomed him in, he gave her a polite smile and bowed respectfully. they greeted each other and chan was guided through to the living room, where the rest of his friends were.

"sorry i'm late," he murmured, slightly embarrassed.

although he was rarely on time, he despised that he was often late and would hate to think that he was holding his friends back in any manner.

perhaps he shouldn't have shown up. he shook this thought out of his mind. he had promised jeongin that he was coming and he was going to stay.

a promise was a promise and he knew that all too well.

he skipped over to jeongin's side and began to lay his sleeping bag beside him, but paused as jeongin pouted.

"i'm sorry hyungie, I promised woojinnie hyung that he could stay next to me because he doesn't know you guys," jeongin rejected remorsefully.

chan felt bile rise to his throat but he dismissed it with a wince that he was sure could be passed of as a smile and a compliment to how considerate this kid could be.

it was happening already. he didn't want to fade away.

he placed his sleeping accessories a little way away from jeongin's, making sure that there was enough room for woojin. once again he felt the odd surge of bittersweet excitement that he experienced whenever he thought about his elder.

memories that he shared with woojin were always treasured, but tinted with a slight sour aftertaste. woojin was unknowingly ridding chan of his home, his family, his friends, his everything; but as of yet chan could had found no strong will to harbour any ill feelings for him.

memories that he shared with woojin were always golden: shiny and attractive to the eye but every man's weakness. woojin was unknowingly stealing chan's heart, chan's soul, chan's common sense; but as of yet chan had found no strong will to ask him to stop.

memories that he shared with woojin were always addictive: they were bad for chan to look back on but he couldn't seem to help it. woojin was unknowingly disturbing chan's thoughts, his emotional capability, his entire daily structure; but as of yet chan had found no strong will to change that.

memories were always a concept that chan had found disturbingly difficult to grasp. he had always disliked how they were there for you to lazily dip your hand in, but never fully grasp. you would never feel the entire capacity of the emotions that you had encountered in that exact moment; never the pure feeling, whether it be anger, thrill, joy or anxiety.

you could never commit to a memory, just like how you could never commit to chan. muted emotions made it hard to feel any desire to commit, let alone be true and loyal to your promises of trust and love.