all that glitters » david dobrik au

forty eight

"Mona," my grandma was sitting up in the kitchen, a mug full of coffee resting between her hands. I had no clue why she didn't pick a cup with a lid, or maybe just fill the cup half way, but it didn't seem safe for her Parkinson's ridden hands. "Your school called this morning. Some delinquent flooded four of the bathrooms. School is cancelled today."

"Oh," I glanced down at my uniform clad body and sighed. If only I would've cut my alarm off one more time, I wouldn't have even gotten ready. "Darn."

"Your grandpa's out mowing his ladies' grass," she rolled her eyes at that. My grandpa, even after retirement, didn't like to give up work, so instead, he flirted with some old ladies in Vernon Hills and cut their grass for them. "We can go get some breakfast, dear. I was thinking IHOP."

"Oh my god, I would die for some Tres Leches pancakes right now," I replied, glancing back down at my uniform. "Give me five minutes to change."

I made my way back to my bedroom and pulled off the uncomfortable button up and skirt, changing into some black cotton joggers and a gray t-shirt I got from church camp before I left Houston and stopped going to church. I changed the uniform Mary Janes into some Adidas superstars and pulled my hair up in a ponytail, deciding I was ready for IHOP.

We got in the car and listened to my grandma's old country music on the way there. Some of it I recognized from my dad's music, but most of it was hard to listen to. I just never understood the appeal of old, twangy country music when people like Maren Morris and Kacey Musgraves exist.

I texted Todd on the way over, asking if he wanted to get lunch since we had nothing better to do. He failed to respond, but he was probably still asleep.

When we got to IHOP, we were seated immediately. ordered a hot chocolate and my grandma ordered another coffee, and then she began her interrogation.

"So... how are things going with you and David? You've been with Todd much more recently," she rested her chin in her palm as her blue eyes pierced me, waiting for my answer.

"Todd and I are just friends, trust me," I giggled in response, trying to avoid the David conversation for as long as possible. Old people didn't understand how confusing and hard relationships were now and days. They had it so easy.

"And David?" she quirked an eyebrow.

"It's very complicated between me and David right now," I replied after taking a moment to think of the correct response to her question. "I think, all things considered, that it's probably best for us to be friends for a little bit, but..."

"But you love him," she finished for me. She always knew, I guess.

"But I love him," I replied, taking a sip of my drink. "It's so hard to just be friends with him. All I want to do is be with him."

"Can I tell you something, sweetheart?"

I nodded.

"Your mental illness doesn't come from Vernon Hills. It doesn't come from David. It comes from the way you were raised, and what you had to go through before you came here. You can't blame yourself for feeling unwanted or scared or sad. It came from your environment, dear," she sadly nodded at me, like the truth was too hard for her to hear. "Your father... God bless his soul, he could never tell anyone he loved them, except Sofia. He could always tell Sofia. He had serious issues, and he pushed them off on you, but that is not, and will never be, your fault. I know you're scared of getting hurt, or of hurting David, but we are all here for you. We want you to be better. You don't have to close yourself off because of that."

I gently patted my under eyes to get rid of the tears that were accumulating underneath. She was right. I didn't want to hurt David. I didn't want to kill myself and have it kill him, but with him, that wouldn't happen. He made me want to live. Vernon Hills made me happy, genuinely happy, which was rare after all the tragedy I had to face. I couldn't close myself off to protect other people when it was only hurting myself.

My phone vibrated on the table in that exact moment, and I glanced down to see a text from Todd.

prince eric: wydm?? where are you we have school today

I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion. Abernathy was open? Then what the hell was I doing at IHOP with my grandma? Not that I was mad about skipping school, but I had just missed three weeks in an ED recovery clinic, so now wasn't the most opportune time.

My question was answered when my Tres Leches pancakes were set down in front of me. On top of the pancakes, written very squiggly in dulce de leche, was one word: PROM?

I looked up at our waiter only to find that he had been replaced by David himself, a nervous smile on his face.

"You already asked me to prom," was the first thing out of my mouth (because yes, I am an idiot).

"I, uh... I wanted to ask you again," he was still awkwardly smiling, and I noticed half the restaurant staring, waiting for my response. "Is that a no?"

"It's a yes," I giggled, standing up to hug him. After an uncomfortable round of applause from the spectators, David slid into the booth beside me.

"I also wanted to ask if you wanted to be my girlfriend again."

There were two answers: yes and no. Both were equally scary.

If I said no, it might be the end of David and I forever. How could he be with me if I wasn't even confident enough in our relationship to want to be his girlfriend? It would be exhausting on his part.

On the other hand, yes was even scarier. Yes was surrendering myself to him. Yes was saying that I had bad parts, but David made them better. Yes was allowing myself to be open and vulnerable. Yes was giving myself the opportunity to get hurt.

I didn't want to get hurt. I didn't want to hurt David.

It was a confusing situation to be in, but still I uttered, "Yes."

TOMORROW IS MY CHEAT DAY ON MY DIET AND IM EATING NACHOS FOR LUNCH AND WINGSTOP FOR DINNER AND A CAKE BATTER MILKSHAKE FROM COLD STONE AND I COULDNT BE MORE EXCITED TO SLEEP RN JUST SO I CAN WAKE UP AND EAT FINALLLYYYYYY

XOXO ABBY