Chapter 38| Alone

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Mirage was gone when I woke up. I sat up straight and scanned the room, somewhere hoping he would still be here, but he wasn't. It hurt. I hopped out of bed and did my daily routine. Luckily he was in the office, working. He greeted me before turning back to his work. I sat behind my desk and glanced at him a couple of times. "Hey... I am sorry for my eruption the other day. I didn't mean to yell at you... I get it if you're mad..."

He perked his head up, "it's okay, Cat... why were you so upset anyway?" He asked nonchalantly. I didn't want to answer him so I decided to ignore it. "And you're shutting me out again... obviously you're or good at it or like doing it," I heard him grumble. I heard him, but decided to ignore it once again.

Around the afternoon, I really wanted some attention from him, but he was too busy to notice me. I laid my pen down and stared at the glass next to me on the desk. It's sounds silly, but if I spill some water over his shirt, he has too take it off right? I shiver ran down my spine as I imagined him shirtless. I got up as he did, pretending to drink. He strode over to the door but changed his mind and turned around.

Perhaps I wasn't really subtle and threw the water over him instead of pretending it was an accident. I am just really bad at this kind of stuff. "CAT!!" He yelled at me and pushed me away. "What the hell is wrong with you!" He sneered. I jumped away and kept my jaws together. "Get out!" He pointed at the door. "What do you mean-"

"I said... GET OUT!!" He screamed. I flinched and just left without saying anything. He slammed the door closed behind him. I am ruining everything. Sadly I strode through the halls. "Cat... I needed to speak to you-" I cut Prowl off. "Leave me alone... just- don't talk to me!"
He blinked a couple of times and passed him.

I settled in the cafeteria, face buried in my hands. "Cat?" I looked up to face Que. "Oh, hi Que..." I mumbled. He looked around before sitting beside me. "Mirage just told me how pissed he is..." he started off. I shrugged and looked down at my lap. "Are you here to give me a speech? I am just bad at flirting and stuff and he doesn't see me..."

Que blinked a few times, "you like him?" He asked. "No! I love him... I love him so much..." I looked away as he tried to catch my eyes. "He's the first one... and I fell in love with someone who will never love me back..."

Que made me look at him, "why don't you just tell him?" He asked. "Because he remarked we are friends... I thought that perhaps... if I flirt it will do the trick... but I don't know how. I am new at this... I am just so scared that he'll find someone else and it makes me jealous and depressed. Perhaps I should just leave the base... My grandfather left me his farm..."

"Cat... You can talk to Mirage. It doesn't matter about what... he doesn't like seeing you struggle either. I really advice you to talk to him... and believe me, he can't flirt either," he said teasingly. A weak smile formed on my lips.
"Talk to him..." he pushed again, rubbing my back before getting up. "And that you're not good at something doesn't mean you can't learn it..." he added with a weak smirk. I smiled, feeling slightly better.

I stared at the wall for a while. I am pushing Mirage away. Every time I try to flirt or attempt to be sexy it ends up horrible. What does he like then? There's nothing I can surprise him with since he knows me and has seen me.

Around the evening, I was about to catch up with him and say sorry for what I did. I have no idea how to explain myself, but perhaps just a 'sorry' would do the trick. I expected him to sit on the table where we always sit, but instead, he sat at another table with some female soldiers.
One in particular was hanging against him. I watched it for a moment. He was joking with her. It tore me apart...

It should've known though.
People will never love me. I should've known better then even thinking about it. That bitch is stealing him from me. Mirage is mine! That's my Autobot! My mech! And my partner. He didn't even look up. I huffed and turned around, storming off.

Lennox jolted you when I burst in. "Here's your form! I am quitting!" I snarled, slamming it on the desk with so much force he jumped off his desk. "Fuck everything!" I shouted. "Cat! Hey! Calm down... calm down and tell me what happened-"
"DON'T!" I spat out. He hated and stared worriedly at me. "You've to tell me what happened..." he calmly said. "Read the form if you want to know!" I snarled. He snitched it off the desk. "It only says 'fuck Mirage' he said, looking me in the eyes. "I hate him! I hate him!" I screamed before turning around. He quickly blocked my way.

"Cat... just calm down, okay? Why don't we call him in and talk about it?" He asked. "No! I don't ever want to his face again! He can do it himself because he knows everything so good! He can rot in hell!" I sneered. Lennox sighed before speaking up. "Cat, listen... we need you so why don't you just calm down?" He asked.
"Why don't you just go to bed and tomorrow we'll talk about it?" He asked. I removed my leg holster and slammed it on the desk. "Tell Mirage he can rot in hell and that I never want to see him again!" I sneered before turning around and storming off...

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