You'll Be Near

Fingers and Toes

Weeks had passed since the ultrasound but Sanem still couldn't stop staring at the grainy black and white photograph. In the rare moments that it wasn't in her hands, she stored it safely in the gap between her phone and its attached rubber case. It was the only place she could think of that would ensure she never left it behind. Sanem had snapped the case on and off so many times that the edges were beginning to wear down. She might need a new one soon.

Sanem had placed the second of the ten copies inside a photo frame, currently positioned above the fireplace in the living room. It sat in view of the sofa, accompanying the photos from their wedding and honeymoon. The third was tucked into Can's wallet. And a fourth was hidden in Sanem's sock drawer - as a spare. The rest had been distributed between their families. Can had mailed one out to his father who was still in America having treatment. Sanem had visited her parents soon after and proudly delivered them each a copy. Mevkibe had done her best not to cry at the sight of it. Nihat, unfortunately, had completely failed in that department. He had to excuse himself to the bathroom, apologising, as joyful tears fell down his cheeks.

The longer she spent fawning over the photograph the more and more real the whole situation became. She was pregnant. They were having a baby. An actual baby. A tiny, little human being that they had made themselves. It all seemed so surreal, but here in her hand, was the undeniable proof. She couldn't help remaining slightly nervous, that much was natural. But it was excitement, not terror, that was overwhelming her now. Looking at the photo for too long would cause her mind to start buzzing and her heart to jump around in her chest like a jack-in-the-box. What would it look like? Would it take after Can? A little boy with dark curly hair? Or would it be a girl? A little girl, who Can would adore with all his heart, who he would protect until his last breath. Who he would take on adventures, read bedtime stories to and learn to braid hair for. Who he would sing along with when her favorite songs played in the car, untill he knew all the words by heart. Sanem fought of a grin, waving the imagine away and quickly tucking the photo behind her phone as Ceycey entered the room.

Can and Sanem spent the weekend attempting, and mostly failing, to teach Arslan to run alongside a bike. The seven-month old puppy had such boundless energy; it helped that they had a sizeable garden to let him run around in, and they walked him daily. But it was often not enough.

Arslan was a quick study. Sanem had been surprised when it had only taken them a few hours in turn, to teach him to sit, stay, and shake on command. This, however, seemed like more than he could handle. It was too exciting for him to think straight, he kept trying to run in between the wheels and jump up at their legs.

When Sunday evening came around, Sanem and Can collapsed on the sofa in a heap. Somewhat pleased with the progress the puppy had made. Arslan collapsed on the floor by their feet, for once, too tired to attempt to jump up. They stayed there for a while, sleepy and enjoying each other's company. Sanem leaned against Can's chest, his arm wrapped around her side.

"Oh! I had been meaning to give you something." Sanem jumped up a while later, forcing Can's arm to fall away. Sanem stood, making her way across the room then disappeared out the door. He could hear her footsteps going up the stairs as he wondered what she had in store. When she finally returned she was carrying three nondescript, square-shaped items hidden under brown wrapping paper.

"What are they?" He asked as she settled back down in front of him on the sofa.

"I thought they would be nice in the bathroom. I made them" She smiled, presenting them to him on the sofa cushion. "No! open that one last." She insisted as he reached out for the largest one on the right. He cocked an eyebrow, intrigued.

Can selected another, then glanced at his wife to make sure she was happy with his choice. She nodded, her eyes lighting up.

Can pulled the wrapping off slowly. Arslan glanced up as he heard the paper ripping. Can let the wrapping fall to the side and inspected its contents.

Unveiling a small wooden photo frame. Inside, was an impression of a lighthouse and a surrounding assemble of sailing boats - each made up of a mix of weathered sea-glass, pebbles and shingle stones. The same ones Sanem had begun collecting on the beach a few weeks ago. The second package was similar, but this time it depicted a blue whale, surrounded by a school of fish. Sanem had delicately penciled in details of crashing waves, a shining sun and the silhouette of birds on the horizon.

They were charming little things. Can could still feel the humming of the ocean within the pictures. As if the stones still held the memory of their home - despite being pinned to a white background and trapped behind a layer of glass.

The first two depictions were beautiful. But it was the third that was Can's favourite. It was slightly larger than the others. Sanem had gathered a collection of small pebbles and arranged them to look like foot-prints walking in a wavy trail across the background, tiny toe's included. Each step, the pebbles became larger, as if alive and growing. The first few, being no bigger than a ladybird, progressing on along the path to the size of his thumb. Then ending with the largest, about the size of a plum from heel to toe.

"It's a progress tracker... sort of." Sanem began to explain, as Can gazed at it with curiosity. "The first ones are where it's at now." She paused, tenderly placing a hand over her stomach. "The fingers and toes are just starting to form. Each step reflects another few weeks of growth until here..." She tapped at the end of the path, slightly breathless and her eyes gleaming. "Is roughly the size they will be when it's born. I thought..." Sanem didn't even get to finish what she was saying because Can was kissing her all of a sudden, making her giggle.

The next morning Can stepped outside their bedroom door and immediately stopped dead in his tracks.

"Sanem..." He called to the en-suite bathroom, where she was still getting ready. "Did you forgot to close the study door last night after checking on the cats?"

Sanem's eyes went wide. She dropped her toothbrush into the sink, dashing over. No. No, no. How could she have been so stupid! They had locked Arslan out again last night, while they lay in the bed performing rather indecent and heated acts on one another. When Sanem had finally opened the bedroom door, feeling guilty for banishing the puppy, Arslan had been sleeping peacefully on the landing. So she had left him there, peeping into the cat-room to make sure that they too, were settled. Ahu's eyes had blinked open at the disturbance, reflecting the dim light of the hallway. Sanem had then left, closing the door. Or so she thought.

Sanem reached her husband, who was frozen in shock, blocking the exit.

"Can?" She glancing at him and noticing the twinkle in his eyes and the amazed smile creeping onto his face. Sanem followed his gaze to the yellow bundle of fur sleeping outside.

It was Arslan. But it wasn't just Arslan.

Both Ilkay and Ihsan were curled up in the soft, golden fur lining the dog's tummy. All three had their eyes closed, content and untroubled. Sanem watched in awe as Arslan finally noticed the presence of his humans. His head turned towards them as he let his tongue roll out in greeting, a silly grin sat on his face.

"I think we have ourselves a nanny dog, Sanem." Can chuckled.