Vikk's POV
It's 2:27. He is still not home. My mind races with the different possibilities of where he is and what he could be doing. I am standing in the entryway, pacing back and forth in front of the door. My hands are tucked up under my arms, my fists clenched in the thin white fabric of my long sleeping shirt.
He could be getting wasted right now. He could be stumbling down the streets, alone in the dark. He could be out with friends and be perfectly fine. He could be out cheating on me. Wait... why did that come to my mind.
He would never do that. He is the nicest, sweetest, most loyal person I know. So why did the thought come to my mind? By this point I have stopped walking as I face the stairs. Tears welled up in my eyes as my teeth bite down on my bottom lip.
"Vikk? You good?" Simon asked from the railing on the next floor up. He is wearing Sidemen sweatpants and one of Josh's oversized hoodies.
"Yeah... I'm good," I breathed out. My arms relaxed slightly and rested on the top of my swollen abdomen.
Now before you ask, yes, I am pregnant. Now, this isn't one of those fiction stories that you read about in fanfictions. I was born female, and now I am transgender. A couple years ago I had top surgery, but decided to wait on bottom surgery.
JJ and I had talked about children quite a bit. We discussed adoption, and then decided that we wanted our kids to have our DNA. I finally suggested that I get pregnant so that we could have OUR baby. JJ was unsure at first, he really wanted to make sure I was okay to go through with this.
It has been hard, though. I hate the idea of using parts of me that I don't even want, but this experience has been incredible. Being able to be this close to my child is unexplainable. We are connected in a way that is unimaginable. I wouldn't wish for anything else.
"You should be upstairs resting. JJ will be home soon," the tall blonde comforted. I nodded, but kept my head down. My tears slowly escaped my eyes and slid down my cheeks. One of the down sides to being pregnant, mood swings and emotions.
"Come on, Si. Leave him be, he'll be just fine," Josh ushered Simon back into his room, sending me a quick smile before disappearing.
"Vikky?" A voice from the front door echoed out. I turned to see JJ slowly closing the door behind him while still staring at me. A breath of relief left me at seeing him home and safe. He slipped his jacket and shoes off before he noticed the tear tracks running down my cheeks. He moved and embraced me the best he could with the baby between us.
"Where were you? You were supposed to be home hours ago," I asked cautiously, almost afraid of the answer. My cheek is pressed to his shoulder as I sniffle and snuggle up to him. His arms tighten around my body as his lips press softly to my forehead.
"After we finished the recording, I got a call from Callux saying that him, Cal, Harry, and Ethan were at the club and were trying to get a cab home, but none of them had money to pay. I picked them up and took them all back to the tower and made sure that they all made it to bed and would have painkillers for the morning," he explained softly. Thank goodness. I really let my mind get carried away.
For some reason, more tears slipped down my face and soaked into the fabric of JJ's shirt. He noticed and placed a hand to my cheek. He used the pad of his thumb to wipe them away.
"Let's go to bed," he whispered into my ear. I nodded against his shoulder before I pulled away from his embrace.
I held onto the railing as I made my way, slowly, up the stairs. JJ stayed behind me the whole way up, making sure I wouldn't fall. When we reached the top, he slipped his hand into mine and led me to his room, which is pretty much our room. I went and sat on the edge of the bed as I waited for JJ to be ready for bed.
He walked out of the closet with shorts on, and that was it. He sat on the ground in front of me and lifted my shirt over my bump. We only have about a month and a half until our due date, and we decided to be surprised with the gender. JJ's hands sat against the sides of my bump, and his fingers slowly brushed circles on my skin. His head bent down and his lips left a soft kiss on our baby. I jumped slightly and hissed through my teeth when the baby kicked right where JJ had left his kiss.
"Kick?" JJ questioned as his hand raised to my face. His palm cupped the side of my face in comfort.
"A hard one at that," I replied. I placed my hand to the spot and lightly rubbed at my skin.
"You be nice to your Daddy, he is already having to carry you around all the time," JJ said gently as he rested his head on my thigh and talked to our baby. A yawn escaped my lips, prompting JJ to look up at me. He chuckled as he stood up, still in front of me.
"Cuddles?" I asked as another yawn came forth. My eyes grew heavy and droopy.
"Lay down, baby boy. I'm going to send Josh a file from today and then we can cuddle," JJ instructed. I did as told and slowly moved to lay on my back. It was a bit of a struggle, but I managed.
I rolled onto my side so that I was facing JJ's desk. I grabbed a pillow that was laying on the floor by the bed and wedged it under my baby bump.
I groan slightly as the baby shifted within me. It was actually quite uncomfortable. The baby always gets restless when I go to lay down and JJ isn't there with his hand on my stomach. It's fascinating how they can tell that it's JJ's touch apart from others.
"Hurry up, JJ. They are getting restless already," I whine as the baby continues move and sometimes kick. The bed behind me sinks down as JJ climbs into bed.
"Shh, I'm here," JJ soothes. He knows how uncomfortable I get when the baby does this. JJ lays behind me, fitting his chest to my back. His arm drapes over my side, and his hand lays gently on my stomach. The shifting and kicking stops as I let out a sigh of relief.
JJ's lips pressed to the back of my neck. A shiver ran down my spine as I smiled contently.
"I love you," I mumbled drowsily. Sleep started to wash over me. My eyes fell closed, and I was unable to reopen them.
"Love you too, baby. Sleep good," JJ whispers and rubbed my belly, sending me off to sleep.
It's been awhile. Just spontaneously got the idea for this. It's been a couple hard months, dealing with depression and disappointment. If you guys have any ideas or anything, let me know. I want to write, but I just don't have the ideas and stuff right now. I do have ideas for books, but I feel bad since I haven't really made any progress on my other books that I've started. Whenever I get spontaneous ideas like this, I'll write. I've been making small progress on some of my other books slowly, so there is a possibility that those could be updated shortly. No promises though. Until next time, Ilya, bye!
