Anna [J.Shelby]

CHAPTER SEVENTY-FOUR

The oldest 4 children glanced at eachother as they watched their mom walk in front of them, still slightly traumatised from what they thought would have been a quiet funeral, and Anna herself still angry that the children couldn't even have a nice send-off for their dad.

Anna fumbled with the keys to the door, noticing Linda and Ada was also walking down Watery Lane as she ushered the kids inside.

The kids filed themselves into the home, running up the stairs as Anna unpinned her hat, pulled her shoes off and undressed herself so she was down to just her dress.

Anna was surprised that her father was standing in the kitchen doorway, looking at her with so much pity.

"Dad.." She breathed.

"Come here, sweetheart" Martin spoke softly.

Anna stepped into her fathers arms who wrapped them tightly around her, and she felt like she was 5 again, with tears from losing her husband. She wished she was 5 again, with nothing to worry about, nobody to lose.

"He's gone dad" Tears flowed freely as her head burried into his shoulder.

"I know, I know" He replied quietly.

"He's gone.." She repeated, this time, a sob left her mouth.

It was an hour later when Anna was left staring at the cup in front of her blankly, her father still had the same pitious look on his face.

"It was just a normal Christmas day, and he got shot on our doorstep. I couldn't even bring myself to go to him, I just stood there staring, and waiting to hear the thing I knew already by the blood stains on the stone"

"Did it hurt this much when mom died?" Anna questioned her father, who sighed in response.

"No, you loved John much more then I loved your mother. I envied you two, I could see that despite your differences you two was always going to last some way, you'd always love eachother, you'd always come back to eachother. I used to think if it wasn't for you I would have left your mother and not once looked back."

"Do you regret living your life the way you have?" Anna questioned.

"My only regrets are not spending every waking moment with you, and not falling in love with your mother." Martin replied.

"I regret many things in my life, the latest thing, is not saying goodbye to him properly. Not moving when he was shot, not holding him when he was dying. He must have been in so much pain, even for only a minute." Annas hands shook as she reached for her cup of tea.

"And now there's 7 kids who depend on me. I'm a widow without an income, there's very little money left, only to live comfortably for a year or so. I just don't know what to do. I can sell the house, that might give us another year, but where do I go?" Anna questioned.

"There's a home not far from where I live, with enough space for all the children. And there's a local school too"

"Dad, Wombourne isn't even far out from Birmingham"

"No, Anna, Wombourne isn't but it's quaint, and it's quiet."

"I don't think I ever knew emotion or feelings before I moved here." Anna admitted.

"You've lived this life, their life for 6 years, Anna. Doesn't not one part of you want a quiet life again"

"Every part of me wanted it when I had John, but John's gone, and I refuse to let the boys follow into the Shelby brothers footsteps. It's been only a few days, most of me just wants to cling onto the naive hope that he's still alive, even though I watched him bleed out and suffer. He still feels alive in this home" Anna glanced around.

The pair were interrupted by Ada entered the door, Anna hastily wiped the tears away as she stood.

"Oh, I'll just come back later then shall I?" Ada questioned as her eyes fell on Martin.

"No, no, you stay. I'm going to see to the children" Martin replied as he brushed past her.

Ada sat opposite Anna at the table as Anna picked at the skin around her nails.

"The extended family and a few close friends of family are holding a get together in Charlies yard, I wanted to ask if you'd like to come. In honour of John and the Christmas none of us was able to have."

Anna shook her head in response

"Perhaps others can drink to John deaths, I dont know, raise a toast for him. Not me, Ada, not me. There's children up there, his children. 4 just witnessed Thomas Shelby fuck with their dad's funeral and 3 will never remember him. I don't know how people carry on, because I know for the past 2 or 3 days I haven't been able to."

"I agree, that what Tommy did was wrong but those Italians deserve everything coming for them for killing my brother."

"One day of peace was just too much to ask, wasn't it? I'm looking forward to the day I don't have to worry about the Shelby name following me"

"The Shelby name will always follow you, Anna. I tried getting away from it, but it never worked. Your children are Shelby's, and whether you like it or not, you might be more Shelby then you thought you was." Ada replied bluntly.

The next morning, Anna was up and out of the house early, leaving her father and her children asleep, walking to a place that was familiar to her once, not this specific one, but another.

She walked into a very familiar box as she turned to the wall, slowly taking her gloves off.

"Forgive me father, for I have sinned."