Ivory Mist

chapter 33

Chapter 33

Should I go back to Dean's house? What if he worries about me? Then again, what if he doesn't miss me? What if he is glad that I am gone? I was alone in my car with nothing but my thoughts. I sat in the driveway of my old house. Well, it wasn't my old house yet. I still had to move my things. But I probably won't be moving them now.

That conversation Dean and I had before we both stormed out of the house was pretty intense. Was I overreacting? Is it such a bad idea for us to try and have another baby? I do love him. And I know he loves me. Or at least I thought he did. I have been gone for more than an hour and he hasn't tried to call me. Maybe he hasn't made it home yet. Or maybe he is done with me.

The thought of me losing this man, hurt more than anything I can imagine. I felt a strong ache in my chest. It felt like a vice was around my heart. I don't know how I will get through the day without him.

But what can I do? Give him a child? I know we aren't ready to become parents. But maybe I could do this for him. Wait. What am I thinking? That is a stupid reason to have a child. What am I going to do? I was so lost in my thoughts that I hadn't notice that Tracy had pulled up in the driveway, and was knocking on my window.

"Nicole, what are you doing here?" she asked with a smile on her face.

I turned my face to the window, and her bright smile vanished. She swung open my car door and pulled me out of the car.

"What did he do too you Nikki?" she asked holding me by my shoulders. I said nothing as tears started rolling down my face. "Nicole," Tracy sighed. She hugged me. "Let's go in the house."

I grabbed my bags and followed her into the house. I sat my bags down and plopped down on the couch. Tracy sat down next to me. She placed a pillow on her lap, and I laid my head down. I am so glad that she is here. But what will she say when I tell her why I am here.

"Talk to me Nikki," she pleaded.

"We got into a huge argument. I don't even know how it got out of hand so quickly. We were shopping for stuff for the house. The next thing I know, we are going at it in the living room. And Dean stormed out of the house. What am I going to do?" I babbled on.

"Whoa. Slow down. So you two just started arguing for no apparent reason?"

"We were shopping, and we saw some baby furniture..." I stopped. Remembering that beautiful crib.

"Oh. So let me guess. He brought up the issue of you guys trying again?" Tracy asked as she stroked my hair.

"Tracy it was awful. It happened so fast. I told him I was getting on birth control and he completely lost it. Told me that I couldn't. I told him that it was my body and I can do what I want. But he felt the need to tell me that my body was his and that he was having it."

"Ok... So at what point did he leave?" she asked

"Right after I told him he can find someone else if he doesn't like it," I whispered.

"You what? Why would you say something like that Nicole. You know that boy loves you. You probably hurt him really bad."

"I know it was crazy to say. But it is true. He can't tell me what I can and can not do with my own body. He is not my husband. And even then he input is limited," I said as I sat up.

"Couldn't you guys just talk it out?"

"No. He was so upset. He left. I packed my bags and I left."

"You didn't tell him you were leaving?"

"I left a note for him," I sighed. Tracy looked at me with disapproving eyes and shook her head.

"You two just need some time to cool off." Tracy sighed. I could tell she wasn't happy with the way either of us acted. "Are you hungry?" she asked. I just shook my head.