Ivory Mist

chapter 11

"Nicole!" Dean yelled as I was walking the driveway to my house. "Nicole please stop and talk to me." I just kept walking up the driveway.

"Damnit Nicole" he yelled as he grabbed my arm.

"WHAT!" I yelled in his face. My eyes were full of tears. I turned to face him. He looked so concerned. He placed my face in both of his hands.

"My God baby. What is wrong? Please tell?" he pulled me into his warm embrace. I just cried in his arms.

"Dean I am so sorry. I am just so mad right now."

"For what? Was it something I did or said?" Sadness ran across his face as if he had done something to hurt me.

"Baby no. You didn't do anything wrong."

I fell silent as I thought about the way people were looking at us when we were together. I thought about how that bitch Delany spoke to me. And it has only been 3 days. And there will be plenty of hatred to come if we stay together. But can I leave him? Can I end this? The thought of me not being with him brings more tears.

"I don't know if I could do this." my voice a faint whisper

"Do what Nicole." I could hear the fear in his voice. I looked up to see his face. His eyes matched his voice. I was not able to speak. I did not want to hurt him

"You know I don't like to repeat myself," he said through clenched teeth.

"Us" I whispered

"What? Why?" His voice was laced with confusion.

"BECAUSE I CAN'T DEAL WITH THE DIRTY LOOKS AND THE HURTFUL COMMENTS..." I yelled back. The look of shock on his face.

"I don't know if I can handle it, Dean. I was called a nigger today by some old coot because I was with you. That hurt me. It hurt me so much. And it is only going to get worse. I just can't."

"So that is your problem. You are ashamed of me?"

"No that's not what I am saying at all I just....."

"So you would rather make other people happy than to be with me?! Is that what the fuck I am hearing" he said throwing his arms in the air

"No not at all I..." he cut me off before I could finish.

"I want to be with you, Nicole. I do not care what anybody thinks or feels. I want you and only you. Fuck what everybody else says." he placed my face between his hands again. "I want you, Nicole," I saw so much hurt in his eyes. I could not stand hurting him like this.

"I want you too. " I said kissing the palms of his hand.

"I know this is hard. Believe me. But me without you does not make sense. We can get through this if we have each other. I am not ready to say goodbye." he pressed his forehead against mine.

His words melted my heart. The honest, compassion, the love in his voice, in his body language, made me realize that in his arms is where I should be.

I kissed with all I had. All my fears and anxiety about us, I released in that kiss.

"Dean... make love to me," I whispered against his lips

"What?"

"I don't like to repeat myself either." I smiled.

"Baby are you sure," he said kissing my cheeks.

"I have never been surer about anything. I. Want. You. To. Make. Love. To. Me. Over. And over. Again." I kissed his lips between each word.