Finding My Puzzle Piece

Helping Trixie...

Trixie's POV

I had to make up my bad behavior to both Bianca and Adore so I took off to unload the groceries. They tried to help and I wouldn't allow them to. Part of me wanted to have that time to gather up in my head what to say... I furiously put the groceries away as I feel Daddy's hand on my shoulder. I'm crying because I'm panicking again. "Baby boy calm down. Deep breaths." I feel his hand on my back and I cry quietly as I put the groceries away. I was scared...

I finished the groceries and I didn't want to go into the living room just yet. My nerves were getting the best of me and Katya knew it. We had talked about things while we were cleaning. I needed to tell them the truth... The more I panicked the more in little space I went... This wasn't going to go well... I feel like I'm raw right now. Katya holds my hand as I walk in with him. I look straight into the eyes of Bianca and Adore.

"I....I need.... I needs to explains... I was vewy bad wif Adore and I sorry." Adore goes to say something and Bianca stops him. "I has vewy bads trusts and abandonment issues." I bite my lip looking to Daddy for help.

Katya's POV

I see Trixie's struggle and I hold him close as he cries silently. "He clings to those he's close to because he's afraid that it's going to all go away and it will be his fault. Most people that he's been really close to have just threw him off to the side." Trixie grabs my hand hard and is shaking. "Adore. Trixie didn't mean to go off at you. He has been in little space for awhile because of his anxiety and hes been very needy." 

Adore gets a look on his face and then tells Trixie to come over to him. I see Trixie look at me. "It's okay baby boy." Trixie walks over and bites his lip. Adore pulls him on his lap and hugs him tight. "Twixie... we no goes no wheres. We's familwy nows. Wubs yew." Bianca looks up at me seeing my worried look. "Katya..."

I hold out my hand and stop Bianca. "He needs this Bianca. He broke down last night... it was so bad it was like he wasn't Trixie... He started talking about himself in the third person. He's not gone out of little space either." Bianca walks up to Katya and holds his hand. "He will be okay. We're home now and we can talk. I just need to know what happened that caused Adore to run." I explained to Bianca what Trixie had told me and he sighed. 

"Trixie dear, will you and Adore come over here please." I see Trixie look up and back down at the floor but follow what I asked. Adore followed him. 

"I know things were really rocky while Bianca was in the hospital. I know routines were broken and it caused chaos. Now Bianca is home we will go back to that... but I need you both to understand that we need you to tell us what is wrong..." I feel Trixie squeeze my hand and I stop.

"Twixie needs to apologize for being so selfishes to 'Dore. I knows he was upset and frustrated and he no mean to upsets Twixie. Me finks 'Dore and Sir Bianca shoulds gibs Twixie special name dat onlys dey calls me. Pwease forgibs Twixie for being selfish and means." 

Bianca's POV

I see Trixie's struggle and it hurts my heart that he thought we would leave him. I hear what he says and I look at Adore. "kitten what would you like to call Trixie?" Adore looks up at me and smiles. "Can we's call him doll Daddy?" I see Trixie smile a genuine smile. "I think that is a wonderful name dear." I see Adore hug Trixie tightly. "Twixie i no mean to makes you upset. I's was mad, frustrateds, and lonelys. I was missing Daddy alot. I shouldn't has rans away but I's couldn't handle. I no likes to see yous cry."

I notice Trixie curling up more into Adore. "Trixie we will always be here no matter how far away we are. You're stuck with us like herpes. Get used to it kid." I notice Trixie pull away from Adore and hug me gently. "I sorry Sir Bianca. I been so worried about you, my insecurities are rearing their ugly heads and making my anxiety go haywires.... Please forgives me for beings so bad..." I put my hand on Trixie's chin and get him to look up at me. 

"Trixie. We both forgive you. We talked on the way home and the two of you made some bad choices because you were so emotional. I understand the two of you were very worried about me. I understand your issues with abandonment and trust Trixie. But I need you to understand that we aren't them. We've always been with you even when we've fought. But doll you need to see that you mean the world to all of us. We love you for you. We love Brian. We love Trixie. I am also sorry for all those times where you had to slap me to reality. Things are better for me now. I'm not sick anymore and they have found some medicine that is helping me. Don't worry about me honey. Focus on you. I know you've not and it's shown."

Trixie tries to turn away and I won't let him. "You've helped me now let me help you." Trixie starts sobbing and collapses but Adore helps me catch him as we all sit on the ground. I rub Trixie's back as he cries and explaining how he started becoming little to cope. How boyfriends would just ghost on him when he became too much. How he was so scared of losing Katya that he tried to shut off his feelings. The more he explained the more his words became clearer. He was working his way out of little space. 

I see him jump into Katya's arms and they kiss rolling around. Adore and I chuckle watching them as Trixie was pinned to the ground. "My princess. my world. Never forget that." I see Katya pick Trixie up and run off with him. Trixie squeals and giggles as I hear a door shut. I look to Adore who is crying a little after hearing Trixie's issues. He crawls into my lap as I hold him. "That goes for you too kitten. I've missed you so bad." Adore looks up at me and whimpers. "Daddy, I misses you too. Can we has kitten Daddy pwaytimes?" I look down at him. "Give me a couple days to finish healing.... but I can do cuddle time."

Adore's face lights up as he takes off to our room. I smile as I stand up off the floor hearing Trixie and Katya as I laugh. As I get into the bedroom I see that Adore has changed into a pair of pajama pants and grabbed the softest pillows. I also notice that my favorite blanket is out. I strip down to my boxers and slide in with him. I know he needs this. I need this too to be honest. I feel Adore wrap around me and cuddle in as we both drift off.