Modest Absolution - Book 5 (Larry Stylinson AU)

Chapter 33 - What I would give to live this night again!

A/N Sorry guys. Uni has been killing me. We're back and better than ever so get ready, it's a wild ride until the end of Modest Absolution. Love you, always! Updates daily and back to normal until otherwise stated. 

‘Stay’ – Hurts

‘Illuminated’ – Hurts

What I would give to live this night again! 

‘Dakota,’ she jumped in fright. For a brief moment forgetting where she was, tangled in a blanket on the jet back to London. Then reality rushed upon her and made her feel momentarily breathless. Porter. 

‘You tried,’ a voice clear as day whispered inches from Dakota’s ear. ‘Don’t blame yourself, you did the best you could,’ Logan said and she felt the distinct pressure of lips to her forehead. ‘You saved your friends, you saved yourself…’

She sat up and yanked the eye mask off her face. But I didn’t save Porter.

Dakota’s hand immediately raised to the side of her neck where she could still feel the warmth of someone’s breath. The plane was quiet, everyone fast asleep as they desperately tried to forget the horrors of present time, the horror of losing a friend, Porter.

Dakota’s body shuddered and she pulled the warm blanket off her. Eyes darting around, her heart hammered in her chest when she realised she was either haunted or going insane. I felt it, I felt his breath on my ear. 

Dakota was struggling to cope with everything, breaking Niall’s heart, Niall breaking her and most of all the loss of Porter. The confusion of being confronted with her dead sister and Logan. Now, Dakota was beginning to wonder if she was truly going insane. 

She closed her eyes, his voice was so clear. It’s impossible. But it wasn’t impossible, Dakota knew she wasn’t crazy. Or, at least… she hoped she wasn’t. 

Looking around everyone in the jet was fast asleep, the hum of the engine a droning background noise. Niall was curled into a tight ball as he tried to keep from falling apart. Every so often a small whimper would escape his lips, Dakota stood up and wrapped her arms around herself. She looked at Niall, wishing she could touch him or simply go to him.

He needed her.

She needed him.

Dakota averted her eyes from Niall’s quivering form, looking at him was like adding another incision directly to her heart. Every time he glared at her, cried or ignored her that blade cut a little deeper. She bit her bottom lip, promising not to fall apart. After all, she transformed into the old Dakota and that came at a price… painful sorrow and undeniable loneliness. 

Zayn was leaning on Niall, head on his shoulder. With his hood pulled over his eyes and his mouth open as he snored softly. Louis and Harry, reclined in one chair opposite Liam and Jennifer. They were tangled together like being wrapped in a cocoon as they slept holding each other tightly. She glanced at the seat next to her… empty. 

The sting of tears was evident, she pushed them aside trying to remember Liam’s words. ‘He wanted you to know he loved you and he was sorry.’ 

Liam groaned, calling out and she halted as she stood in the aisle of the jet. She watched him, hand tightly wrapped in Jennifer’s. 

‘No, Porter please don’t go,’ he muttered.

Her strength wavered, her composure turned to ash and Dakota took two steps away from Liam. She knew she should comfort him but she couldn’t, she was deprived of all sensation. Backing away from a situation she would normally run to because in her mind this was her fault. In her mind, Porter was dead because of her.